Summer daycamp has come to an end. Nathan's not happy about that. Neither am I, to be honest. It was so nice to just be like a regular mom, for a change. I could just drop him off, and not expect the phone to ring, telling me to come and get him. I didn't have to coax him into going. He was happy there, and I didn't have to fear, every time I dropped him off. It's a luxury I never get, and I'm so sad it's over.
Now I have to prepare for school to begin. Oh how I dread that. I keep telling myself that it's a new teacher, and that can make all the difference in the world. But how can you be optimistic when year after year it's been horrible?
I don't want the battles. I don't want the frustration. I don't want the restraint. I don't want the judgemental advice. I don't want the medical advice.
I just want my boy to have a positive experience at school. I want zero restraint. I want positive attitudes. I want people who accept the diagnosis, and don't inject their own opinions. I want my son to do well. I want him to be happy. I want him to have friends.
I want the school to realize that I want my son to succeed academically. I want him to be polite and well behaved. I want him to study, and participate. I want him to love school, the way he loves learning. I want the school to see the Nathan we see at home. Happy. Helpful. Bright. Cooperative. Productive.
I don't want the anger over his symptoms. I don't want his video game obsession to be constanly under attack. (I don't send the game to school, it's not like that - he just talks about little else, and it really pisses them off.) I don't want them telling me that "we don't think he has sensory issues" or "we don't think he's really autistic." I don't want to hear that "all he really needs is more discipline." And I especially don't want to hear, "He's just manipulating us!"
Give me a frickin' break.
All the moms I work with are getting excited that the kids will be returning to school soon. Not me. I'm in tears over it.
No comments:
Post a Comment