2nd Week

It's been an interesting week. Nathan got hurt at school, and then was sent home Tuesday.

I got a phone call that morning. It was Nathan. He told me he fell down and skinned his hands and knees. Sounds like the one hand was a lot worse than the rest. He was pretty upset about it, so they let him call me. I talked to him for a bit, and he calmed down. He just needed mom. :)

Later, he fell behind in class, and started to get frustrated and upset. They said he threw a small piece of cardboard on the floor, and crawled under a table. He did not hurt anybody. Sounds like it was a mini-melt, not a full blown meltdown.

They called Dh at work. I have no idea why they called him and not me. Dh was glad to leave work because it was ungodly hot, and there is no airconditioning where he works. But we were both a little perturbed that I wasn't called.

The school's explanation to Dh was that they didn't have my phone number. HUH?!? That's odd, considering they called me on my cell phone numerous times the previous week, AND called early Tuesday morning. But somehow my phone number is no longer on any records at the school. (Uh huh. Gimme a frickin' break. And all forms that have dh's number on them, also have mine, and mine is listed as the primary contact number.)

Do you know how many forms I had to fill out for that school, listing emergency numbers and who is allowed to pick him up, and all that? My number must be on file at least six different places there. Work, home and cell. Let alone the fact that they have had me on speed dial for the past four years. And come on! THEY CALLED ME THAT MORNING!

I was also irritated that they sent him home. For what? For crawling under a table? If they're going to send him home every time he does that, it's going to be a long semester.

Then Dh gets him home and Nathan starts right in on homework. He did homework for nearly three hours before I finally had to stop it. (He was getting really frustrated.) He hadn't been screwing around or dilly-dallying either. Hard work for three hours. That's a lot for him, and it had me really worried. I will not have him doing homework all night again, every night. When they've done that to him before, the meltdowns increased in number and in severity. That's just insane, to give that quantity of work to someone with autism.

I sent a note to the teacher, saying that he worked very hard, but he just couldn't do any more. It wasn't sent back home again the next day, and there was no response. I wonder what that means? Are they going to give him an F for the missing work? Or are they going to consider the homework assignment completed? I have no idea. Not much I can do about it. He just couldn't do any more. Oh, and I gave her my phone numbers, too.

The next couple days improved. He didn't have any more issues at school (that I know of). But Friday I received a call from the after-school caregivers. He got upset and went behind a door, and wouldn't come out. They considered this a safety issue, since there was stuff behind that door that he could get hurt on, if he messed around with it. I asked if I could talk to him, if he would take the phone.

I couldn't tell whether or not he had the phone. He wasn't talking. So I just kept rambling on about how I needed him to calm down, take deep breaths, and come on kiddo, talk to me. Finally I got a grunt. Progress. It didn't take long then, and I had him talking in one syllable answers. Then he got to short sentences. I talked him out from behind the door, and got him calmed down. He wouldn't tell me what happened. He couldn't communicate it. So I asked if some kid was giving him trouble. Yes. I told him to stick by the grown ups, and I would tell them that someone was giving him a hard time, and ask them to keep an eye out. Would that help? Yes. (Phew.) We talked a little longer and he gave the phone back to the caregiver.

She sounded relieved that I got him from behind the doors. (They divide the room in half, and there's a lot he can get into on the wrong side.) She knew what had happened with the other kid, and would keep an eye out for him. I told her she could call any time. But I also warned her that sometimes, if he's really upset and really angry, to be careful about giving him a phone because there is always the possibility that he could throw it. Hopefully, he won't get to that point.

The homework sent home during the rest of the week was minimal. That was good. Too much homework is definately a dangerous thing.

I did finally send the "Nathan Handbook" to the teacher. I hadn't finished going over it. The picture is still from last year, and it still had the note to the previous teacher in it. But I gave the new teacher a note and suggested that she read the first seven pages (about 15 minutes of reading), and hopefully this would give her some good info to help her right off the bat. Then I asked her to send the book back home with him this weekend, and I'd try to update it. I was thinking of adding a bit about perseveration, since that seems to be a real bone of contention with the school staff. Nathan tells me the teacher took the handbook home with her! Now that's more than his last teacher did. A very good sign. I hope the book helps.

And I almost forgot! Good news! He got another perfect score on his spelling test! I love seeing that. I just hope he doesn't expect that every time, because then he'll get upset when he doesn't get it. I try to tell him that it won't matter if he doesn't get 100%, that he tried very hard to do his best, and that's all we want, that the score doesn't matter. But I know how he gets with that perfectionism. I'll have to keep reminding him.

I've been taking him to the bus stop every morning in my car. I'd be thrilled to let him walk to the bus stop on his own, but I don't dare. There's still that one boy that beats up his sister on the stop, and when I'm not there, he goes after Nathan as well. So I don't give him the opportunity. His mother came with him and his sister on the first couple days. A lot of good that did. He went after his sister with his mother there, and the mom just got in between them, with the boy still swinging around her, trying to slug his sister. Good grief. This year, I'm keeping my camera in the car. Or my cell phone camera. If he's going to beat her up every morning again, I'll show the school exactly what's happening. I'm so tired of this. (On a good note, their house is up for sale!! YIPPEE!! I hope it sells soon.)

This has been a slightly rocky start to the new school year. Much better than last year at this time, though. But so far we've had two injuries (the shoulder cut and the skinned hands and knees), one melt in the classroom, one hide-behind-the-doors in afterschool care. The good things were that the new teacher seems very nice and kind, so that will be helpful for Nathan. And she actually made an effort to read the book, which is more than the previous teachers have done. So that's very good news. His bus driver is familiar with autism, and will be patient with him. And the bus stop bully may be moving - I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I guess at this point I'd say the first two weeks have been more good than bad. I hope the good will increase as Nathan gets used to the new routine, and knows what to expect. I sure hope so. And maybe, if they continue to resist restraining him, maybe he'll get to trust this staff. I sure hope so. I want to trust them, too.