Today was the last IEP meeting. Thank God. I'm so tired of dealing with the school district, in any way, shape or form. I am in great need of a summer vacation.
The meeting was actually quite brief, compared to past meetings. And it went smoothly. It was mostly upbeat. There was talk about how much Nathan has improved in his ability to socialize, and to use eye contact, and to remember names and use spontaneous greetings. They pointed out something that I wasn't quite aware of. He communicates much better with adults than with peers. Not that this surprises me. He isn't around kids much, except at school. He would be more comfortable with adults, for a lot of reasons. I just hadn't thought about how he might show more skill with one group than with another.
There was also talk about how he is maturing, and becoming more independent, and how he is starting to take more responsibility. He is also far less aggressive than he was last year at ths time. Very good things.
I did request a limit on his homework. Again. Just as I have in every IEP meeting. Again, I didn't get it. They did note it in the "parent concerns." However, they did suggest one thing (bless the Autism Team's heart), that we could attempt to remove ALL HOMEWORK. Holy smokes! That was far better than I imagined! They didn't grant it, though. They said this was the "most restrictive," and they wanted to try the "least restrictive" first. What that refered to was an earlier suggestion that they try using computer time as a reward for him, if he completes his assignments. Ideally, they want to set it up so that if he gets his class work done, he will earn minutes on the computer. Okay, I'm willing to give it a shot. I think using the computer is a very good motivator for him, and dh and I have wondered all along why they didn't use this as a reward.
We also discussed how, with dh's new hours, Nathan doesn't get very much time to eat dinner and do homework, and how it leaves him little to no 'down time,' and how extremely important this is for him. To my surprise, they all seemed to understand and empathize with this! I appreciated that. Perhaps it helped to break it all down to "this is what time he gets home, and this is when we eat, and this is how much time he has to do homework, and this is how much time he has to relax." If I received an argument, I was going to whip out my emails. (I saved a copy of every email that mentions the teacher sending home unfinished classwork for him to do at home. It was a huge stack, and would really help to illustrate what we face.) But they seemed to respect the few hours that Nathan spends at home, and did agree to monitor this. If the homework continues to be a problem, they will eliminate it completely. Yay. In the meantime, they will try to use something he loves to get him to do work in school. That seems like a good idea, and a workable compromise, as long as we can amend this later if it isn't working. Besides, ideally I would like for him to take more responsibility, if he can, and not avoid it. If he'll do the classwork with motivators in place, I'm all for that. And his daily homework is reduced, so that helps. If he'd just get the classwork done, in class, that would be the icing on the cake.
And we talked about how you can't promise him "no homework," and then take it away. He just can't wrap his brain around that. Even it it's his own fault, he just can't understand it. They all seemed to understand. I appreciated that as well. Whether or not that will make a difference, I don't know, but at least I'm trying to make them all aware of the things that sabotage his success, and hope that some of it sticks in their heads. Maybe it will help the next aspie that comes along, even if it doesn't help Nathan. All I can do is try.
Oh, and they said they would help us transition Nathan to middle school during the next school year. That will be good. I do think this will require a little planning.
So we left the meeting feeling fairly upbeat about next year. Not excited, but at least
"cautiously optimistic." Nobody blindsided us, and we didn't wind up on the defensive. That's always a good thing. And I'm really trying to be pleasant and not confrontational. Hey, if you don't try to bullshit me, or manipulate me, (or threaten me with arrest), I'm really pretty easy to work with.
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