PT

Physical Therapy went pretty well. But twice a week for six weeks or so is a bit more than I anticipated. Yikes. Oh well, if it works, it's worth it. It's a LOT of time off of work too, and at the worst possible time of the year, but it can't be helped. I try to work shorter lunch hours, to help offset some of the time off for PT, so it doesn't hurt the wallet quite so much, but it's still hard on my coworkers.

Nathan has been having a good couple weeks! I'm real proud of him. He's trying to be good for the rest of the school year. At the rate he's going, he just might make it! I hope he ends on a real good note, so that next school year he doesn't have that negative vibe right off the bat when he walks through the doors. I keep telling him he's growing up, and learning more self control, and that's why he's doing better. He likes that idea, so he's trying even harder. (How nice! An upward spiral for a change!!)

I can't wait for this school year to be over!! I know most moms dread this time of year. Not me. School scares me more than anything. Daycare isn't so great either, but for the past year or so, they have at least been less hostile towards Nathan. If the pattern continues, that would be helpful. I'd like to just worry about grades and stuff, instead of safety or abuse.

Well, I'm off to do my excercises!

Degenerate

Um, well, degenerative anyway.

That's what it seems I have in my shoulder: a degenerative condition called tendonosis. The difference between tendonitis and tendonosis is the fact that tendonosis is degenerative, and chronic.

Oh goody.

The good news is that there is no substantial tear or hole. So no surgery! Yay! At least not yet, anyway. Next step: physical therapy. If that doesn't work, I get cortisone shots. And if that doesn't work, back to the possibility of surgery.

But first things first.

So I start PT on Monday morning. It's at a facility I've never been to before. So I don't know what it will be like, but I suppose most PT is pretty much the same. Lots of pain if you want any real gain. Okay, I can do that. Knowing that the pain will lessen down the road makes me capable of a lot. I'm a tough little cookie when I set my mind to it.

The doc said I have arthritis all right, but it isn't what's causing all this intense pain. This boils down to the tendons being inflamed, and the tendons and bursa are getting pinched as my arm moves upward or backward. He called it 'rotator cuff impingement.' I also have carpal tunnel, but that's the least of my problems right now.

He said he could do surgery right now on that rotator cuff, and admitted he makes more money that way, but also told me that if it were his shoulder, he'd try the PT first. Okie dokie. I'm game. I've been through PT before, and have always had good results. I may think bad thoughts about the physical therapist in the beginning, but by the end I usually have a real respect for their expertise. I'm not too optimistic about cortisone. I've had that many times before, for different troubles, and while it may offer temporary improvement, I have never had it resolve and issue for me yet. In fact, after it wears off, I've sometimes found myself in MORE pain than before. So I hope the PT works and I don't have to go that route, but I will if I have to. I'll exhaust everything before considering surgery. The pain of the shots doesn't phase me. (At least it doesn't phase me as long as they don't have to shoot it directly into the bone. Now THAT was pain. I'd rather avoid that at all costs, if humanly possible. But standard cortisone shots are a piece of cake to me.)

Anyway, the results of the MRI were all relatively good. At least it's not as serious as a tear or a hole, and surgery will be the last consideration. That's a relief. The bad news is that the pain in my shoulder will not go away on its own. But I had pretty much figured that out, since I'd been in pain since around November. Hey, if it hadn't gone away by now, I think I've figured out that it isn't going to. And PT might just work.

I'm a lot more optimistic now. At least I know this isn't just something I have to live with. I can take action, and hopefully improve this. I couldn't accept that this was permanant. Nothing I can do. Get used to it. Screw that!

It's funny, because in my head I'm only about 21 years old. (Only in my head, not on my birth certificate.) I *think* like I did at that age. I don't feel like my brain is old. It's hard to face that my body isn't feeling as youthful as my grey matter. When I look in a mirror, I have to wonder who that old hag is, looking back at me? And where did that wild, skinny gal of my consiousness go? Hm. The brain of a pup in the body of a geezer. That's a bummer, LOL!

But that's okay. I have so much more now, than I ever did when I was young and pretty and painfree. Given the choice, I'd never go back in time. I'd never change my choices, as foolish as some had been. At least everything I did had value, because it got me exactly to where I am now.

Now I'm off to find healing! Wish me luck. Nah, on second thought, wish me patience. I probably need that more, LOL!

Butterflies and Mummies

Today was one of those scary days for me, and one of those fun and free days for Nathan.

There was a field trip for his class, to go to the Milwaukee Public Museum. He was SO excited! You would think he was going to the moon, as thrilled as he was. Mom was in "eek" mode, worrying about every silly little thing. (My friends tease me that I would wrap Nathan in bubble wrap if I could.) Of course, one has to swallow all those over-protective urges and let the little guy have some fun once in a while. So off he went in the big blue bus.

There was no reason to worry. He had a blast! He called me up as soon as he got home, dying to tell me about it. His favorite part was what he called The Butterfly Room. From what I gather, it was a room full of butterflies. LIVE butterflies! He was blown away, and I was grinning from ear to ear, listening to him describe it. I wish I could have seen it. I wish I could have seen him frolicking around, chasing a monarch, surrounded by other butterflies. What a grand mental image!

And I got to hear about mummies in caskets, and big skeletons that were hanging from the ceiling, and a skeleton of a huge whale that was on a wall. And the kids had some kind of scavenger hunt, too, which allowed him to go off "on his own" to explore the museum (accompanied by his aide).

And just as delightful was his wide-eyed tale about the gift shop. Mom The Softie slipped him a little cash before he left, so that he could get a small souvenier. You would think he had won the lottery, to hear him tell it. He bought a dinosaur toy and some candy (you know field trip candy is ten times better than home candy), and he and his buddies had their picture taken in one of those photo booths. Those boys couldn't have smiled any bigger if they tried.

It was so much fun to hear him talk about it. He was so happy. And he shared the experience with friends from school. Shared! FRIENDS FROM SCHOOL. Wow. That's so cool! He never used to be that social at school. He rarely remembered a kid's name, let alone refered to one as his friend. Now he's having a great time with a couple of pals, like it was a common occurance. (Happy dance!)

This all ended up being the best Mother's Day gift I could have received. My little boy was buzzing with excitement and joy about his trip, with a smile that lights up the whole room. It just doesn't get any better than that.

Doctor Doctor, Give Me The News

I heard from my doctor's office. I go in on Tuesday to get the results of my MRI. The nurse didn't know the results, she is just instructed to schedule an appointment.

I think this is good news. When I had hurt my knee a few years back, and they did an MRI, they called up and just scheduled surgery. I'm hoping that since they didn't automatically schedule surgery for my shoulder after this MRI, and instead scheduled an appointment, maybe that means it's not a tear or hole in the rotator cuff after all...? Maybe just physical therapy?

Hey, I can hope, can't I? LOL!

I'm not very good about waiting. I get so impatient. And talk of surgery and PT and all that gets me nervous.

On a good note, the meds have been helping a lot! Especially doubling up on the arthritis meds. That seems to have helped in reducing the inflamation in there, and a lot of the lesser pain is all but gone. It doesn't ache as much as it did. Unfortunately, the really bad pain is still really bad. But that isn't all the time, just when I move the wrong way. And I've been able to keep that to a minimum. So the pain has gotten a lot more manageable. It has raised my spirits considerably. Now if we could knock the bad pain down several notches, I'd be a real happy camper!

The IEP Annual Review

Today was the last IEP meeting. Thank God. I'm so tired of dealing with the school district, in any way, shape or form. I am in great need of a summer vacation.

The meeting was actually quite brief, compared to past meetings. And it went smoothly. It was mostly upbeat. There was talk about how much Nathan has improved in his ability to socialize, and to use eye contact, and to remember names and use spontaneous greetings. They pointed out something that I wasn't quite aware of. He communicates much better with adults than with peers. Not that this surprises me. He isn't around kids much, except at school. He would be more comfortable with adults, for a lot of reasons. I just hadn't thought about how he might show more skill with one group than with another.

There was also talk about how he is maturing, and becoming more independent, and how he is starting to take more responsibility. He is also far less aggressive than he was last year at ths time. Very good things.

I did request a limit on his homework. Again. Just as I have in every IEP meeting. Again, I didn't get it. They did note it in the "parent concerns." However, they did suggest one thing (bless the Autism Team's heart), that we could attempt to remove ALL HOMEWORK. Holy smokes! That was far better than I imagined! They didn't grant it, though. They said this was the "most restrictive," and they wanted to try the "least restrictive" first. What that refered to was an earlier suggestion that they try using computer time as a reward for him, if he completes his assignments. Ideally, they want to set it up so that if he gets his class work done, he will earn minutes on the computer. Okay, I'm willing to give it a shot. I think using the computer is a very good motivator for him, and dh and I have wondered all along why they didn't use this as a reward.

We also discussed how, with dh's new hours, Nathan doesn't get very much time to eat dinner and do homework, and how it leaves him little to no 'down time,' and how extremely important this is for him. To my surprise, they all seemed to understand and empathize with this! I appreciated that. Perhaps it helped to break it all down to "this is what time he gets home, and this is when we eat, and this is how much time he has to do homework, and this is how much time he has to relax." If I received an argument, I was going to whip out my emails. (I saved a copy of every email that mentions the teacher sending home unfinished classwork for him to do at home. It was a huge stack, and would really help to illustrate what we face.) But they seemed to respect the few hours that Nathan spends at home, and did agree to monitor this. If the homework continues to be a problem, they will eliminate it completely. Yay. In the meantime, they will try to use something he loves to get him to do work in school. That seems like a good idea, and a workable compromise, as long as we can amend this later if it isn't working. Besides, ideally I would like for him to take more responsibility, if he can, and not avoid it. If he'll do the classwork with motivators in place, I'm all for that. And his daily homework is reduced, so that helps. If he'd just get the classwork done, in class, that would be the icing on the cake.

And we talked about how you can't promise him "no homework," and then take it away. He just can't wrap his brain around that. Even it it's his own fault, he just can't understand it. They all seemed to understand. I appreciated that as well. Whether or not that will make a difference, I don't know, but at least I'm trying to make them all aware of the things that sabotage his success, and hope that some of it sticks in their heads. Maybe it will help the next aspie that comes along, even if it doesn't help Nathan. All I can do is try.

Oh, and they said they would help us transition Nathan to middle school during the next school year. That will be good. I do think this will require a little planning.

So we left the meeting feeling fairly upbeat about next year. Not excited, but at least
"cautiously optimistic." Nobody blindsided us, and we didn't wind up on the defensive. That's always a good thing. And I'm really trying to be pleasant and not confrontational. Hey, if you don't try to bullshit me, or manipulate me, (or threaten me with arrest), I'm really pretty easy to work with.

Did I Tell You About Felony Eavesdropping?

A while back I mentioned how I requested permission to tape record the IEP meeting, and was told I would not be allowed, because to do so would be felony eavesdropping.


The school principal instructed me to call the legal department if I had any questions regarding the fact that I was being refused permission to tape record my son’s next IEP meeting. The principal declined to discuss it with me “since this is a legal issue versus a policy issue,” and referred me to the legal department.


My first phone call to the legal department was not returned. I left a voicemail message on the evening of March 7th, requesting that she send me the district’s policy prohibiting the tape recording of IEP meetings. I provided my name, address, phone number and email address. There was no response to this voicemail request.


When the paralegal did not return my phone call, and did not forward me the requested district policy, I then contacted the principal again and requested that she send the requested information. During a phone conversation on the morning of March 13th from the principal, I was informed that she had spoken to the paralegal and discussed the fact that I had left a message for the paralegal that had not been returned. Although the paralegal was informed verbally that I had attempted to reach her, I still received no return telephone call from the paralegal.


I telephoned the paralegal on the afternoon of March 13th. The purpose of my telephone call was to again ask her for a copy of the district policy prohibiting the tape recording of IEP meetings. The paralegal instead recited Illinois state law regarding felony eavesdropping. I repeated my request to receive a copy of the district policy prohibiting the tape recording of IEP meetings. She once again recited state law. I then asked her if the district has a policy prohibiting the tape recording of IEP meetings. She replied, “Not in writing.” She went on to say that “the district follows state law, and it's against the law to record a conversation if someone objects.” I told her that I was permitted to tape the first meeting and asked why that permission was being revoked. Again she recited that state law prohibits the tape recording of a meeting if someone objects. I said, as I understand it, state law refers to private conversations, and an IEP is not considered a private conversation. She told me, “I’m not going to argue with you,” and declined to discuss it.


Since it was my intent to gather information and understanding and not to argue, I inquired why I was given permission to tape record the last meeting but was being denied permission to record future meetings. She again stated that it was against state law to tape record a meeting if someone objects. I said that IllinoisSpecialEd.com encourages the taping of IEP meetings and even goes so far as to suggest a brand of tape recording device to use, and asked why they would do so if it was prohibited by state law. The paralegal said, “I’m not going to argue with you. The district follows state law, and state law prohibits the tape recording of a meeting if anyone objects.” I told her that I know of people in Illinois that openly tape their children’s IEP meetings, and asked why it was permissible for them but not for me? She again stated that she wouldn’t argue with me, and repeated that the district follows state law. She said, “We tell any parent that calls that they are not permitted to tape record IEP meetings.”


I explained that the first time I taped a meeting, I requested permission, and they told me that they were not authorized to permit it because the principal was not there and that she was the only one authorized to approve it, and that I would have to ask the principal for permission. When the principal arrived, she granted me permission. “No one had voiced any objections at that time,” I stated. “Why was permission now being revoked?” The paralegal said, “I don’t know. All I know is that the principal received objections from teachers after the meeting, and as long as anyone objects to the meeting being taped, then it is felony eavesdropping.” I asked, “Who is it that is objecting?” The paralegal said, “I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. If anyone objects, you can’t tape. If you do, that violates state law.” I asked why they object to the meeting being tape recorded. She again stated that she wasn’t going to argue with me.


I explained that my husband’s company is under new ownership, and his hours have been changed. He currently leaves for work at 5:15 in the morning, and returns around 5:15 at night, and works Saturdays. He can’t take off of work right now, because the company is under transition, and the business is moving. I depend upon my husband’s opinions, insights and input in order to make decisions regarding our son’s future. Tape recording the meeting made it possible for my husband to actively participate in our son’s academic future. It is also easier for me to participate fully in the meetings when they are taped since I don’t have to take detailed notes. I have arthritis, tendonitis and carpal tunnel in my shoulders, elbows and hands, and taking notes is, at times, quite painful. Taping the meetings was a great help to my family. I asked the paralegal if the school would be able to accommodate my husband’s work hours when scheduling the IEP meetings? The paralegal replied, “As I understand it, the staff comes in early to accommodate your work hours. I think we accommodate you enough.”


I then asked, “Could I bring the tape recorder to the meeting, and then if anyone objects they can just leave the meeting?” The paralegal responded, “You cannot tape record a meeting! The principal has been instructed that if you even bring a tape recorder to the meeting, she is to immediately contact the State’s Attorney!” I ended the phone conversation, stating that I didn’t feel this matter was resolved. I called back a few minutes later and asked if she would put it in writing, that if I brought a tape recorder to a meeting that the State’s Attorney would be called. The paralegal said, “I will not put that in writing.” When I asked her why, she hung up.

Down at the Twist and Shout

Fonzie, eat your heart out!

Grease Is The Word

Fonzie, eat your heart out!

Here’s a picture of my little greaser. I had him all dressed up for his rock ‘n roll music program, that featured music of the 50s and early 60s. The outfit was thrown together at the last minute. The school neglected to tell me that we needed to dress him as a greaser or a flower child, until the NIGHT BEFORE the program! Ack! And dh and I were so sick with colds, there was no way we were running out to the store at this late hour.

But Mom is good in a pinch. I rummaged through dh’s old clothes, and found a plain white t-shirt. It was still too big for Nathan, but it was workable. Then I managed to find dh’s old leather jacket!! Jackpot! Throw in a pair of dark shades, and a couple of handfuls of Mom’s hair products, and Presto! One Greaser, coming up!

How’d I do?

A Spring Melt

Thursday was not a good day.

I got Nathan dressed up in his greaser outfit for the rock ‘n roll music program, and he went off to school as happy as could be. Then a couple hours later, I get a call from his teacher, who is PISSED OFF, and telling me that Nathan is in full blown meltdown mode, throwing things at the teachers and pinning teachers to the wall. Omg. I rushed right over. They had cleared the area, lecturing me about how ALL the other children had to stop learning because of MY son, and move across the room. Then, as Nathan became increasingly more aggressive, they had to remove the other kids entirely (this is the first time they have actually followed the IEP and removed the class!), and again lectured me about how ALL the other children had to stop learning because of MY son, and they had to leave the classroom, because of MY son.

Look, I know this is frustrating for the school, and very upsetting. But right then, I’d just driven halfway across town, scared to death that they were going to again restrain my son (and possibly hurt him, or worse), and I walk into the classroom completely clueless on what has happened, with my son in one corner of the room, his face pale, dark circles under his eyes, red blotchiness on his forehead and cheeks (indicating to me that he is extremely upset and possibly traumatized), hands in fists, with his teachers, para, and principal gathered in the complete opposite corner, looking like they plan to tell me Nathan’s being thrown out of school), and the LAST thing I need is to sit there and listen to accusatory lectures while I’m just trying to find out what the F*** has been going on and get to my son!

Finally, after finding out, yes he did pin a teacher, but what that means is that the para was sitting across from him at the table, and he pushed the table forward. She was not hurt or unable to get up, she had the table pushed into her. She had continued to try to talk to Nathan and work with him, as he pushed at the table. And yes, he threw something at a teacher. It was an empty water bottle, he threw at her back as she walked away, after she informed him that she was going to call me to come and get him (and he knew that meant he wouldn’t get to be in the music program). I don’t know if it hit her or not. Yeah, it was a very bad thing to do, but it was also becoming clear that no one was hurt, and this was not exactly the picture I was given over the telephone. At least that was a little better, he wasn’t throwing furniture as he had in the past, and he hadn’t hurt anybody. I stopped the teacher at that point and said I was going to go to Nathan and see if I could help calm him down.

Nathan was a mess. He looked absolutely hysterical, freaked out, growling. (The more upset he is, the more he loses the ability to communicate, until all he’s able to do is growl.) It took me a long time to get him out of the corner, get him to take his 2nd dose of meds, and finally start talking and calm down. (Btw, I never had to raise my voice, or grab him.) They brought in a lunch they saved for him (he was starved, which wouldn’t have helped his mood any). Within a half hour of my arrival, I had him calm, eating, and had even apologized to the para and the teacher, and thanked the para for saving him a lunch.

They weren’t kicking him out of school as I thought. They told me he could stay, if he could stay calm. They hinted that they would prefer it if I stay. (I was already sick as a dog with a cold, and had been just about ready to leave work anyway, so work had told me to just stay home when I left). But they would allow Nathan to be in the music program, both the dress rehearsal at 1:00 and the show at 7:00, as long as he was done with the meltdown. From the looks on their faces, and the fact that they were gathered in the corner whispering the whole time I was with Nathan, I thought for sure this was going to be bad news. And here, they were perfectly willing to let him go right back to the music program. (Which was great, by the way.)

From talking to Nathan later about the whole thing, none of it was handled very well. Nathan wasn’t focused all day, with the excitement of the music program, and couldn’t keep his mind on classes. I understood that, but the teacher did not. She was growing increasingly more irritated with his behavior as the day went on. She had sent him to another teacher’s room, to work on math at one point, and when he came back, he was behind the rest of the class. I wasn’t clear on if it was all from the visit to the teacher, or if Nathan just wasn’t getting anyting done at all, or both. So they told him he could catch up on what he missed, in school, or do it at home. This was after his whole class had been told that NO ONE had any homework that night because of the music program, and now he had homework. Stupid move. Anyway, Nathan started to get upset, so they told him he could either do that work he missed, or work on a math page along with the rest of the class. Well, Nathan thought since they were giving him a choice, he asked if he could work on his art project. They refused that, and in fact got angry about the suggestion, and said it was one or the other, math or language arts. But by now, he had his heart set on art, and he didn’t understand the refusal to allow it, and he didn’t understand the anger, and he started to lose it. The teacher said he just wanted to get out of the real work and do art. They said he just didn’t want to do any work, like he was just being lazy. Nathan got more upset. They tried some methods to calm him down, but they were trying them too late, and doing too little, so Nathan just kept getting more and more upset. Finally, the teacher insisted that he get the work done, or they would call me to come and get him, and he lost it completely.

I know the teachers don’t know what they did wrong. It’s not an easy thing to explain to them. They don’t realize that any time Nathan comes in and finds out that he is behind, that’s upsetting to him. And they don’t realize that you can’t tell him one moment that he has no homework, and then tell him now you do. He is fixed on the fact that there is no homework tonight. He happily and quickly did the EXTRA homework the night before, celebrating the fact that he would not have homework tonight – no one had homework tonight – and now that was being taken away. He couldn’t wrap his brain around that one. And he gets very upset that he often takes home more work than the other kids, even though the other kids don’t have to take it home because they did it in class. This concept doesn’t click with him: Homework is homework, regardless of why you get it, and it’s not fair that he has homework when no one else does. Now I understand that reasoning, but reasonably the teacher isn’t going to understand that. His mind works differently, and his reasoning is different. Had the teacher told him that he’d have homework to bring home on another day, he probably would have been able to wrap his brain around that. And to tell him he has to ‘do it or else’ only sets up a confrontational block, and he can’t cope with that either, and he resists further. I don’t have any trouble getting him to do any work. I try to emphasize the positives, and I sometimes throw a curve into it to make it a little more fun. I wouldn’t have shoved two papers at him and said “here pick one.” I would have tried to put more of a positive spin on it. “Which of these two assignments do you like the best?” Something like that. And if I still got resistance, I’d start trying to see if I could incorporate something he loves into the assignment. Is it a writing assignment? Can we toss in a little outer space? Dinosaurs? Is one of the assignments math? He loves math, and can do it quickly. Or we can make a game out of it using my spare coins. Is it to read a story? Let’s take turns reading, and I’ll use funny voices. Then, once he’s working on the one assignment, I’d tell him that the other assignment we’d save for another day, and pick a day I didn’t promise him NO HOMEWORK.

Nobody wants to deal with all that personalized work. No one wants to have to learn all his little nuances to make this flow smoothly. I understand that. It’s a lot of work. But even if you don’t want to bother figuring out how to get through to him, can’t you at least try to not get angry when he can’t do something? Can’t you not get confrontational, and draw a line in the sand? Maybe a little patience? A little more laid back approach? A little flexibility? A little creativity? And can you PLEASE not tell my son that he’s just being lazy? Or imply it? He’s not lazy, and he’s not resistant to school work. I can get him to do it just fine, without hassle, sometimes with a lot of fun! He loves to get the work done, and to get positive feedback on the work. He’s eager to please. And when you accuse him of being lazy, he is understandably offended by this, and is completely confused by it. (And it really pisses me off!) And please STOP promising him things like ‘no homework’ or ‘free time on the computer’ and then turn around and take it away from him! He can’t handle that. I mean really, when you tell him week after week that you’re taking away his free time on the computer, and week after week he has a complete meltdown when you do, can you explain to me why you keep doing it? Is it that you are so blind to the fact that this is happening over and over again? Or are you just trying to instigate something here? Sheesh. And same goes for homework. If you tell him he has no homework, and then you tell him he’ll take it home as homework, even though you promised no homework, is it such a shock that he got upset?

And when I get notes home that say Nathan had trouble getting something done on time today, but we didn’t send it home because he was being “respectful,” don’t expect me to believe that you aren’t using extra homework as a form of punishment. Even if that isn’t your intention, it sure as hell feels that way to Nathan. And it does to his parents, too.

I know none of this is easy. But I sure wish we didn’t have to make it harder. The meltdowns can be avoided. The confrontations can be avoided. It really doesn’t take that much. Even if you don’t understand how to avoid getting him upset, if you take a few minutes to find out what is bothering him and just try to be a little patient and maybe a little creative, you might find that you can avoid a lot of problems, and get a lot of work out of him. Willingly. Happily. Threats don’t work. Punishment doesn’t work. Removal, seclusion and restraint don’t work. Criticism and judgment don’t work. Drawing a line in the sand doesn’t work. All you have to do is find out what is at the root of the problem, when he balks. That’s it. Take care of whatever that little issue is, even if it requires a little creativity, and all the rest will fall into place easily. Some teachers have done it. And they thought he was a fantastic student. The ones that don’t want to bother think he’s something else entirely. But in the end, you control what kind of student he is for you. Not him. Not the autism. Not his parents. Not inflexible lesson plans. Just you.

There's Something Else Going On Here

I went to the orthopedic doctor friday. I love this guy. Not only is he a terrific doctor, he is also very compassionate towards people with arthritis. Right off the bat, he took a whole new set of xrays, because he didn’t like the views provided by my GP.


First of all, yes, I do have arthritis in my shoulders. Does it explain the level of pain I’m now experiencing? No. He showed me the evidence of arthritis in my xrays. There were numerous examples that he pointed out to me. But it isn’t bad enough to explain the horrible pain I feel when I get dressed.


He interviewed me about my symptoms, and asked me all kinds of questions. Then he tested me on my range of motion, and strength/weakness. He would have me provide resistance as he pushed on my arms or my hands in various positions. He also informed me that I have carpel tunnel, but that's another issue.


He said what I have is rotator cuff impingement. This can be caused by three things. 1) tendonitis/bursitis 2) a tear in the rotator cuff 3) a hole in the rotator cuff. If it is tendonitis or bursitis (sort of like tennis elbow, only in your shoulder), he will continue to treat me, and likely put me into physical therapy. If it is the tear in the rotator cuff, or the hole in the rotator cuff (and a pin hole is all it would take), both of these require surgery, and he would refer me to the shoulder specialist that he’s partners with. (This is an office of numerous specialists).


He said I need an MRI to determine what the problem is. He wanted it done immediately, and had the nurse call the hospital right then and there to schedule it. So I go for the MRI Monday morning, at 5:30 am. (They were shocked that I didn’t even hesitate at the early hour, lol! But I’m a morning person. Early doesn't bother me at all.) Dh will go into work late, and stay with Nathan while I go for the test. My meds have been changed, to increase the anti-inflamatories and gave me a stronger pain killer to help me sleep at night.



So my GP was right and wrong. Right in the fact that I do have arthritis, but wrong in the fact that this pain is not typical of my level of arthritis. And now I’m headed for either physical therapy, or shoulder surgery.


I feel vindicated and scared, all at the same time. I knew this didn’t feel like just arthritis. But wow, I didn’t expect shoulder surgery, either.