2nd Week

It's been an interesting week. Nathan got hurt at school, and then was sent home Tuesday.

I got a phone call that morning. It was Nathan. He told me he fell down and skinned his hands and knees. Sounds like the one hand was a lot worse than the rest. He was pretty upset about it, so they let him call me. I talked to him for a bit, and he calmed down. He just needed mom. :)

Later, he fell behind in class, and started to get frustrated and upset. They said he threw a small piece of cardboard on the floor, and crawled under a table. He did not hurt anybody. Sounds like it was a mini-melt, not a full blown meltdown.

They called Dh at work. I have no idea why they called him and not me. Dh was glad to leave work because it was ungodly hot, and there is no airconditioning where he works. But we were both a little perturbed that I wasn't called.

The school's explanation to Dh was that they didn't have my phone number. HUH?!? That's odd, considering they called me on my cell phone numerous times the previous week, AND called early Tuesday morning. But somehow my phone number is no longer on any records at the school. (Uh huh. Gimme a frickin' break. And all forms that have dh's number on them, also have mine, and mine is listed as the primary contact number.)

Do you know how many forms I had to fill out for that school, listing emergency numbers and who is allowed to pick him up, and all that? My number must be on file at least six different places there. Work, home and cell. Let alone the fact that they have had me on speed dial for the past four years. And come on! THEY CALLED ME THAT MORNING!

I was also irritated that they sent him home. For what? For crawling under a table? If they're going to send him home every time he does that, it's going to be a long semester.

Then Dh gets him home and Nathan starts right in on homework. He did homework for nearly three hours before I finally had to stop it. (He was getting really frustrated.) He hadn't been screwing around or dilly-dallying either. Hard work for three hours. That's a lot for him, and it had me really worried. I will not have him doing homework all night again, every night. When they've done that to him before, the meltdowns increased in number and in severity. That's just insane, to give that quantity of work to someone with autism.

I sent a note to the teacher, saying that he worked very hard, but he just couldn't do any more. It wasn't sent back home again the next day, and there was no response. I wonder what that means? Are they going to give him an F for the missing work? Or are they going to consider the homework assignment completed? I have no idea. Not much I can do about it. He just couldn't do any more. Oh, and I gave her my phone numbers, too.

The next couple days improved. He didn't have any more issues at school (that I know of). But Friday I received a call from the after-school caregivers. He got upset and went behind a door, and wouldn't come out. They considered this a safety issue, since there was stuff behind that door that he could get hurt on, if he messed around with it. I asked if I could talk to him, if he would take the phone.

I couldn't tell whether or not he had the phone. He wasn't talking. So I just kept rambling on about how I needed him to calm down, take deep breaths, and come on kiddo, talk to me. Finally I got a grunt. Progress. It didn't take long then, and I had him talking in one syllable answers. Then he got to short sentences. I talked him out from behind the door, and got him calmed down. He wouldn't tell me what happened. He couldn't communicate it. So I asked if some kid was giving him trouble. Yes. I told him to stick by the grown ups, and I would tell them that someone was giving him a hard time, and ask them to keep an eye out. Would that help? Yes. (Phew.) We talked a little longer and he gave the phone back to the caregiver.

She sounded relieved that I got him from behind the doors. (They divide the room in half, and there's a lot he can get into on the wrong side.) She knew what had happened with the other kid, and would keep an eye out for him. I told her she could call any time. But I also warned her that sometimes, if he's really upset and really angry, to be careful about giving him a phone because there is always the possibility that he could throw it. Hopefully, he won't get to that point.

The homework sent home during the rest of the week was minimal. That was good. Too much homework is definately a dangerous thing.

I did finally send the "Nathan Handbook" to the teacher. I hadn't finished going over it. The picture is still from last year, and it still had the note to the previous teacher in it. But I gave the new teacher a note and suggested that she read the first seven pages (about 15 minutes of reading), and hopefully this would give her some good info to help her right off the bat. Then I asked her to send the book back home with him this weekend, and I'd try to update it. I was thinking of adding a bit about perseveration, since that seems to be a real bone of contention with the school staff. Nathan tells me the teacher took the handbook home with her! Now that's more than his last teacher did. A very good sign. I hope the book helps.

And I almost forgot! Good news! He got another perfect score on his spelling test! I love seeing that. I just hope he doesn't expect that every time, because then he'll get upset when he doesn't get it. I try to tell him that it won't matter if he doesn't get 100%, that he tried very hard to do his best, and that's all we want, that the score doesn't matter. But I know how he gets with that perfectionism. I'll have to keep reminding him.

I've been taking him to the bus stop every morning in my car. I'd be thrilled to let him walk to the bus stop on his own, but I don't dare. There's still that one boy that beats up his sister on the stop, and when I'm not there, he goes after Nathan as well. So I don't give him the opportunity. His mother came with him and his sister on the first couple days. A lot of good that did. He went after his sister with his mother there, and the mom just got in between them, with the boy still swinging around her, trying to slug his sister. Good grief. This year, I'm keeping my camera in the car. Or my cell phone camera. If he's going to beat her up every morning again, I'll show the school exactly what's happening. I'm so tired of this. (On a good note, their house is up for sale!! YIPPEE!! I hope it sells soon.)

This has been a slightly rocky start to the new school year. Much better than last year at this time, though. But so far we've had two injuries (the shoulder cut and the skinned hands and knees), one melt in the classroom, one hide-behind-the-doors in afterschool care. The good things were that the new teacher seems very nice and kind, so that will be helpful for Nathan. And she actually made an effort to read the book, which is more than the previous teachers have done. So that's very good news. His bus driver is familiar with autism, and will be patient with him. And the bus stop bully may be moving - I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I guess at this point I'd say the first two weeks have been more good than bad. I hope the good will increase as Nathan gets used to the new routine, and knows what to expect. I sure hope so. And maybe, if they continue to resist restraining him, maybe he'll get to trust this staff. I sure hope so. I want to trust them, too.

Pingin'

Have you guys heard of Ping.fm?

This site is cool. It allows you to post to numerous blogs, with only a single post.

I post to a bunch of different social networks, in my attempts to raise autism awareness, and to reach out to others who know or love someone on the autism spectrum. Until now, there's been a lot of copying and pasting going on, as I post to one, and then copy in the rest. Some social networks did cross post, which helped. But I've always wished I could just post to one, and have the same message appear on all of my blogs. Nice and simple.

That's what Ping does.

They have a huge number of social networks they are able to work with, including blogs, micro blogs, IM's, etc. You have the ability to post to just your status, to just your micro blogs (tweets & plurks), or to just your blogs. You can post on your mobile, too.

Ping just came out of beta, and they've got lots of ideas for upgrades and tools to add in the future, so this site is still growing. Check it out at http://ping.fm

One...The Only Way is One

Got another meme sent to me today. This was harder than I expected to do. You can only answer with One Word. Give it a try!

1. Where is your cell phone?...... purse
2. Where is your significant other?..... work
3. Your hair? ..... messy
4. Your mother?..... heaven
5. Your father?..... heaven
6. Your favorite thing?... pda
7. Your dream last night?..... sexy
8. Your dream/goal?..... website
9. The room you're in?..... living
10. Your fear?...... loss
11. Where do you want to be in 6 years...... happy
12. Where were you last night?.... home
13. What you're not?...... happy
14. Muffins?..... yum
15. One of your wish list items?... healthy
16. Where you grew up?....Chicago
17. Last thing you did?..... sleep
18. What are you wearing?.... sweats
19. Your TV?...... disconnected
20. Your pets?.... pooch
21. Your computer?...... overworked
22. Your life?...... chaotic
23. Your mood?..... anxious
24. Missing someone?...... hubby
25. Your car?....... fun
26. Something you're not wearing?... shoes
27. Favorite Store?...... Amazon
28. Your summer?..... peaceful
29. Love someone?..... yep
30. Your favorite color?..... pink
31.When is the last time you laughed?......yesterday
32. Last time you cried?..... Wednesday
33. Who will resend/reply to this?..... unsure

A meme

I got meme'd. A friend sent this to me. It said to finish the sentences...

1. My uncle once:
got us special parking at a White Sox game by telling the parking attendant he was "Doctor Shitheimer" (pronounced Shit-high-mer), and even produced a bogus business card. He said he’d need to be close to the entrance in case he was called out in an emergency. The attendant gave us the spot right in front of the entrance.

2. Never in my life have I:
ever enjoyed being called by my formal given name. I’ve been known by a nickname since day one.

3. When I was five my parents:
taught me how to make martinis and margaritas, old fashioneds and Manhattens.

4. High school was:
typically unpleasant, but improved greatly when my parents began to travel extensively, leaving my twin brother and I alone for months at a time. Then it was wonderful.

5. I will never forget to:
tell my son I love him, every day.

6. Once I met:
Richard Nixon, and he had the slimiest handshake I’d ever received.

7. There’s this boy I know:
who is incredibly bright and funny and joyful. Too bad so few people know him the way I do.

8. Once, at a bar, I:
was bumped into by Walter Payton of the Chicago Bears. He nearly toppled my tray of drinks, but I managed not to spill a drop. He was so apologetic, even after I told him it wasn't necessary, he bought drinks for my table all night. (Which earned me the awe of all my friends.) At the time, I had no idea who Walter Payton was, but they brought me up to speed immediately. I thought he was just a really nice guy.

9. By noon, I’m:
on a roll, since I’ve been up since 4 or 5am. I’m a morning person. Can you tell?

10. Last night I:
started to research how to use a new web building software.

11. If only I had:
a teacher who was good with autistic children. A babysitter would be nice, too. (It's too early to tell yet about the teacher.)

12. Next time I go to church:
I’ll ask them why they don’t have any accommodations for special needs children.

13. What worries me most is that I:
can’t protect my son from the school staff.

14. When I turn my head left I see:
my son. He’s playing a video game.

15. When I turn my head right I see:
my husband. He’s on the couch watching tv.

16. You know I’m lying when I:
tell you I love lima beans. Or watermelon. Or pizza.

17. What I miss most about the Eighties is:
being skinny.

18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be:
Cordelia. Dad disowned me, too. (Several times, actually.) The last time was for changing my major. Never could please Dad. I really empathized with the character of Cordelia.

19. By this time next year I will:
be the mother of a junior high student. Ack. I can’t tell you how this terrifies me.

20. A better name for me would be:
Joni. (It’s not my given name.)

21. I have a hard time understanding:
why the school staff believes that sometimes my son's behavior is because of the autism, but sometimes it isn't. "Sometimes he's being influenced by the autism, but sometimes he's just acting like a little boy." As if he's sometimes neurotypical, and sometimes he has a neurological disorder. I guess they think his autism has an on/off switch...?

22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll:
study what I like, instead of what I’m told I should.

23. You know I like you if I:
make you something. (crafts)

24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be:
my husband and son. They are my support and my inspiration.

25. Take my advice, never:
put your autistic student in the Rockford School District.

Okay, now it's your turn.

Rock On

Gosh was that fun. We just returned from a shopping excursion to the gem store.

Dh loves to go to the Bass Pro Shop, and Nathan and I love to hit the gem store, further down the mall. It's a fun place to buy polished gemstones and polished glass beads and jewelry. You can check them out here: www.blackmarketminerals.com (Black Market Minerals).

This is not a place where you buy fancy expensive jewelry. This is a place where you buy beads and polished gemstones. It's casual and inexpensive. Fun jewelry that's unique and personal.

I found all kinds of stuff for me. I got earrings and pendants, and a neat amethyst bonzai-like tree, and a little carved stone bunny. I collect bunnies. Not one thing I bought cost more than $8, and most cost only about $3 each or less. But when I wear my snowflake obsidian coin pendant, for example, no one will have one like it. It's a color and pattern that appeal to me very much, and because it's made by mother nature, no two are alike. I like that. It's unique. And earthy.

Nathan was in heaven. He's had rock collections since toddlerhood. Today he picked out a bag of rocks, and they are all very pretty patterns. They have this big old tub, like an old-time bathtub, filled to the brim with polished gemstones and polished glass. He just digs right in, looking for treasures. At about a buck a handful, he can have all he wants.

So we all came away happy. Nathan added to his collection, and I got a bag full of jewelry and nicknacks for a bargain. Dh got lures and fishing line. A nice way to spend time on a holiday weekend.

First Week is Finished

One (partial) week under our belts. We've all survived the first four and a half days of school. Whew.

It didn't go without incident. First of all, I get a phone message that the school will not give my son his medication. The reason for this? He's supposed to take a 1/2 pill in the morning, and a 1/2 pill with lunch. The prescription bottle says to take a half pill twice a day. We give him the first half in the morning when he gets up. They're supposed to give him the other half in school at lunch. But since the bottle doesn't state a *specific time of day, they won't give it to him without a signed note from the doctor, and from me.

Now, with a co-worker out on an emergency medical leave, I've been working overtime on a daily basis. When she went on leave, my boss informed me that she was authorized to give me up to 32 hours of overtime a week. So you can imagine how little time I have to run errands, like run to the doctor's office. Let alone CALL the doctor's office. I work in customer service, and I'm in a phone queue. I'm can't make personal phonecalls. And with all this overtime, I'm only taking half hour lunches (which, if I'm lucky, gives me enough time to drive somewhere, get a sandwich, and snarf it down). Geez, when am I supposed to juggle in doctor visits and picking up notes?

And don't ya think you coulda told me you needed the form at registration? Why wait until he's in school, and not tell us until he's sent home unmedicated?

Fortunately, my doctor was pretty flexible, and I faxed him the form to fill out and fax to the school. But with the phone tag, closed office, and all that went with it, it took about three days to get the note to the school.

Hey, no skin off our nose. We could give him the other half when he got home. But I suspect the lack of meds might have had an impact at school, since they agreed to take my verbal permission over the phone, rather than wait yet another day for the form. (Now why couldn't they do that on day one? Or were they just getting desperate, LOL?)

Okay, that was a bit annoying or frustrating, but what the heck. First week of school is a bit chaotic for everybody. No harm done.

Yesterday had me on pins and needles though. I got another call from the school nurse. Nathan got hurt, and had a cut on his shoulder. She wanted to warn me, before he came home with a bandaid. That was thoughtful of her.

Now Nathan with an injury can be a bit unpredictable. If there's blood, he can get very freaked out. If there's pain, he may seen strangely unaffected by it, or he may overreact. Never anywhere inbetween. I've seen him stoically try to walk off a broken toe. And I've seen him go ballistic over a minor scratch. I haven't quite got it all figured out what makes him go over the edge, though I do know that any blood is probably going to do it.

My first question to the nurse was, "Did he throw a fit?" In my mind, that's a meltdown.

The nurse responded yes, that he was pretty upset, and that "he had been somewhere he wasn't supposed to be, doing something he wasn't supposed to be doing, and he fell into a cabinet," but that they put an ice pack on his shoulder, and he's okay now. He had just brought back the ice pack to her, and he was in a good mood. (All is well.)

Okay, I guess I should have clarified things with her, but it's hard for me to be on the phone at all, so I suppose I was not getting the story as straight as I should. Plus the mommy overprotectiveness kicking up a notch.

Keep in mind that last year, when I was told "So then Nathan was taken to the office..." That meant he was physically restrained, removed, secluded, and held down in a chair for a half hour or more by several adults. Talk about understatements...

I was under the impression from the brief discussion with the nurse that Nathan was probably escalating (he was somewhere he shouldn't be), tried to crawl under or behind something (doing something he shouldn't be doing), and got hurt in the process. After all, that has happened before. He's crawled under or behind stuff during escalation, and ended up being restrained and removed. I got a similar description then.

When I got home, I asked dh what happened. He didn't know. Nathan didn't seem to think anything had gone wrong, except he tripped and hurt his shoulder. Huh? No nuclear meltdown?

Not according to Nathan. He *was somewhere where he wasn't supposed to be. He keeps going near the big fan in the room because he's hot and wants to cool down. But he tripped on the fan, and fell, and that's when he hurt his shoulder. Yeah, he got upset, but it's not like he had a melt. (Or at least that's how Nathan sees it.)

I'm not sure which version is true. I know he's not lying. That's his perception of it, accurate or not.

On the other hand, the nurse is brand new. She doesn't know what a meltdown really looks like, or that when I ask if he threw a "fit," I mean he REALLY threw a fit, and perhaps a book, or a chair. Maybe she thought his crying over a painful cut in his shoulder was "a fit." (If that's the case, that poor woman's going to be in for a world of shock when the real thing hits.)

Or maybe I just assumed the worst, because of past history. Maybe that's all the nurse meant. He threw a little fit because he got hurt. Just like any other kid would have. No big deal.

Oh! Okay. I guess I sat on pins and needles for no reason. That's good news. I'd rather find out I was being silly, than have the worst really happen. I don't believe the nurse was deliberately vague or anything. She's really very nice. I had just read between the lines, (because I used to have to) and there probably wasn't anything really between those lines. And I guess I'm like a new student, learning how the school staff works and what to expect. I shouldn't take for granted that what the new nurse tells means the same thing as what the previous nurse would have intended. After all, this one's never seen a melt.

Lesson learned: Don't assume. Lesson two: Next time, ask more specific questions. (Lesson three: Hey, if you're gonna be paranoid all afternoon, wondering what happened, maybe you should just get your butt down there and find out for yourself!)

I don't know if I really want to know what happened with the injury. If there was a meltdown, they didn't seem to think it was bad enough to send him home, suspend him, or anything like that. And if there wasn't a meltdown, well now, that's just the version I'd like to believe is true.

Maybe it's just time for a little faith, huh? Wouldn't it just be wonderful, if when the school says he had a fit, they mean he reacted just like any other kid his age? Nothing scary or unmanageable? No restraint needed? Nothing violent, just emotional? That would be nice!

So anyway, the week went relatively smoothly, I think. Better than last year's first week, by a long shot.

And the kicker? He brought home a little certificate that said "Congratulations! You scored 100% on your spelling test!"

I love notes home that say nice things!!

What was that new mantra again? Oh yeah!

It will be better this year. It will be better this year. It will be better...

An IEP Tool Kit

This is neat! An IEP Tool Kit to organize your papers for your next IEP meeting: http://ping.fm/252bH