The first week of camp is over, and it was mostly a success. The second day was bumpy, but only a mini melt, not a full blown neuclear meltdown. Considering he had been so excited to go that he had very little sleep for a couple days, coupled with all the change and unfamiliar circumstances, it's not a big surprise that he had trouble.
However, there were two things that really struck me about the past week.
1. Nathan came home on the first day, and casually described what they did for the day, including telling me the name of the one-on-one aide, AND the name of a kid that he was becoming friends with. Now, keep in mind here, Nathan doesn't remember names. Never has. He has gone to school with kids for years, and except for one or two exceptions, he has never even bothered to learn anyone's names. For him to come home, after ONE day, and know not one but TWO names, is monumental!
2. One of the leaders asked me about Nathan's social skills, and filled me in about how Nathan has been playing very well with the other kids, has been inviting other kids to play board games with him, and for the kids that didn't know the game he very patiently explained and taught the other child how to play. She said he was displaying very good social skills! Woah! That's GREAT news! I knew at school they had seen some marked gradual improvement in this regard over the course of the school year. But to have someone who doesn't know him consider him to have good social skills is really amazing. I know they are still probably not what you would see in an NT child - the leader was probably speaking in relative terms, but it's still really cool. Two years ago, Nathan was known for going out to recess and just standing well away from the other children, watching. He didn't play, he didn't interact. At all. At the end of one year, the school was very excited because a group of kids invited Nathan to join in during a game of football on the playground, and he jumped at the chance. He had never done that before at school. At the end of two years, I was excited because he had been learning the names of his really close friends, kids he'd been in class with for several years. And he would have what I would call a very strong friendship with one boy. Big stuff. But I never would have guessed that he'd be inviting kids to play, learning their names, or acting in a mentoring fashion.
He just seems to be blossoming in the past year. There are so many big advancements, that I have to believe it's more of a matter of something "clicked" inside, rather than it was the result of any one person, program or environment. It carries over to too many things. Like the fact that he's now able to be left alone for short periods of time, and he's volunteering to help around the house and around the yard, and he's getting better about showing some self awareness and self control. He's doing better with academics (at least making an occassional effort to listen and participate in class).
This is the Nathan I expected to see at school. Actually, I expected him to be in the top of his class, but I expected him to be participating, friendly, more in control, and happy. I've been so frustrated because I know he has it in him, but for some reason, they can't seem to provide the environment or the atmosphere for him to thrive. Instead, it seems to be all about control, discipline, behaving...
If only we could get a teacher with patience and flexiblity! Someone who won't judge him as a spoiled rotten brat the first time he has a melt. Someone who won't draw lines in the sand with him. (Hey, I can HOPE, can't I?)
Right now, in camp, his one-on-one is very young. A college student, I assume. But she is very upbeat and cheerful. An awesome personality to work with Nathan. She instictively knew to give him time and space when he was upset, and backed off when she could see her attempts to communicate were frustrating him. She sends me notes, telling me what a funny and good kid Nathan is, and how he makes her feel good about herself, too. And that was at the end of the day that he melted. Most adults write him off after a bad day, and assume he's a bad child. Not this girl. Thank goodness.
I know it's early yet, but I have to relish this. I love being able to drop him off for the day, and know he's going to have fun. Not just not melt down, but actually enjoy himself. And I love not having to fear for him, that someone will respond to his frustration with anger or restraint or humiliation. Instead, for at least a while, I can feel like any other mom. I can smile and hug him before he goes off for the day, and not feel dread. And I can come home from work and listen to him excitedly chatter on about playing games and finding neat rocks.
I love summer!
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