A little more on the story... (my comments follow below)
CARY (WTVD) -- The mother is telling her story exclusively to Eyewitness News.
An American Eagle flight taxiing to an RDU runway was turned around Monday, but not because of a terrorist threat.
The crew was kicking an autistic Cary toddler and his mother off the plane.
As the American Eagle flight headed down the taxiway, two-and-a-half-year-old Jarett Farrell wasn't a happy traveler.
His mother says she was doing all she could to calm the autistic boy, but got no sympathy from the flight crew.
"If they just would have been a little more understanding I think that none of this would have been a problem," Mother, Janice Farrell said.
But it became a big problem for everyone on the plane. Farrell says that's because the flight attendant was indignant.
"She kept coming over and tugging his seatbelt to make it tighter, 'This has to stay tight'. And then he was wiggling around and trying to get out of his seatbelt. And she kept coming over and reprimanding him and yelling at him," Farrell said.
One of the pilots came back to the cabin with a stern warning and Farrell says the frustration level escalated.
She says Jarrett picked up on that and things only got worse.
"He just melted down. He saw me getting upset. He was upset. He was on the floor rolling around," she said.
The pilot returned to the cockpit, turned the plane around and headed back to the terminal.
"The pilot made an announcement that there was a woman and her child on the plane and the child is uncontrollable. And at that point I just broke down," Farrell said.
Farrell says when she got back to her home in Cary she called her husband and they decided that she should call American Airlines corporate. She says a company representative apologized and said the incident should never have happened.
But that's not what American Airlines told Eyewitness News.
A spokesman in Dallas says Jarret was pitching a "raging fit".
And that Janice, who was in a front-row seat, refused to allow her bag to be placed in an overhead compartment, even though there was no under seat stowage.
He says that with a "passenger not complying with FAA regulations, this was the right decision."
Farrell says even though her travel bag had things to calm Jarrett, she did indeed give it to the flight attendant.
"She took my bag and put it up top," Farrell said.
Farrell is taking the train to see family in New Jersey and she and her husband say they will never fly American again.
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Wow. I'm really shocked and saddened by these stories. It makes me contemplate the weaknesses in human beings, and how stress plays into this.
I've been hearing a lot of talk about this mother, and how she shouldn't have flown, and how she can't expect to have the privilege of flying if she can't control her child. I've heard that people pay good money for their flights, and shouldn't have to tolerate a child misbehaving. I've heard that there is a safety issue involved, and the pilot was following protocol to eject passengers that did not follow the safety regulation of having their seatbelt fastened. I've heard about how the flight attendant inappropriately by reprimanding the child, handling the child, and yelling at the child. I've heard about how the pilot was inappropriate for also reprimanding the child. I've heard that the mother tried to explain that the boy was autistic, yet the staff did not make any accommodation for this disability, nor offer any assistance. And so on...
There are many sides to this incident. I agree that it could have been handled better by both sides.
But I think what happened on that flight speaks very loudly about the lack of compassion we show as human beings. I suppose that with the economy the way it is, and the stresses we are all under, take a toll on us lately. But it seems to me that people are losing their humanity. Their quality of being humane.
The event on the airplane was handled as if it was a spoiled child acting out of control. It was dealt with by anger, by the flight attendant and by the pilot. Was the child out of control, and exhibiting potentially dangerous actions? Yes. He was. (That isn't to say that the situation couldn't have been de-escalated. Or that the safety be restored before any harm was done.) My concern here is that the mother clearly explained that her child had autism, and was met with no understanding, no compassion, no assistance, no attempt to contain the situation in a productive and effective manner. What she was met with was disdain.
What is it about our current state of society that makes it acceptable to ignore a mother in distress? To address a child in obvious distress with anger, even though the event is a product of his disability? Do we no longer feel compelled to offer a helping hand or heart to someone in need?
At no time did the staff express a desire to assist this mother. Why? Was it too difficult to say, "I don't know anything about autism. Is there anything I can do to assist you?" Were the rules so concrete that her bag be taken from her, even though it contained things to assist her in calming her child? Which was the bigger safety risk? The fact that the child was on the floor, or the fact that the bag was not in the overhead? What was in the bag could possible get the child up off the floor.
And now we find more compassion for the other passengers on that flight, because of the huge expense they have put forth to be on the plane. That this somehow vastly overshadows the fact that a woman with a special needs child was in distress. "I pay good money to fly - I shouldn't have to put up with some autistic kid having a fit!"
What if a child had an epileptic seizure? Would you express the same anger? Or a diabetic episode? Have we lost the ability to see that sometimes a fellow human being, even a child, might need a little understanding? Or that the parent needed to be allowed to handle the child her own way, instead of the flight attendant’s way? Or that a stranger yelling at a child who is scared and out of control doesn't help?
I imagine there are ways the mother could have handled the situation better. And there are ways the pilot and the flight attendant could have handled the situation better. And I realize that this isn't a black and white issue, that there were varying shades of grey as well. But what I don't understand is why people didn't see this as a human being in need, and try to put forth just a little bit of effort and compassion to help resolve this issue and assist a fellow human being who needed it. Where is the humanity? Where is the empathy?
The first account I read about this event gave me such a heartsick feeling. Somewhere between all those lines of the article was lurking a warning. It warned me that people with disabilities are not acceptable. That they shouldn't be permitted the same rights and privileges as other, non-disabled people. That their differences are not welcome, nor are they to be 'tolerated,' let alone accepted. Get normal, or get out.
And here, I've had this ongoing dialog with my son. He's been asking more about his autism, and what it means and how it makes him different, and how he feels about this. His big concern of course is that he didn't want to be different. At that age, who does? But I discussed with him about how it is that which makes us different that also makes us special. That we need to embrace our differences, our uniqueness, because it is those things that will make us stand apart from the crowd, which makes us more appealing as people and as friends. Our differences give us each our own particular charm. It's okay to be different. To not be "perfect." Perfectionism doesn't exist and can't be achieved. No one can be perfect, and we all have our own abilities, and our own inabilities.
Reading the article about the boy on the plane made me realize that what I've been telling my son is a lie, when shown under this light. You had better not be 'different' if you want to fly. Or if you want to be a fully participating member of this society.
Geez, that's just sad.
Maybe it isn't really a lie to tell him it's okay to be different. Maybe it's really just a mother's hope. My dream. That my child's autism will also be something that he cherishes, because it enhanced his life by giving him a unique perspective and experience.
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