Check this out! This was posted today on the local newspaper's new health section online. I was really excited because it's the first time I've seen the newspaper mention my website! (And they said good things about it, too!)
I'm so excited!! (doing a happy dance!)
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Resources to help with autism available
By Deborah Austin
HealthyRockford.com
Jun 30, 2008 @ 01:00 PM
Families of children with autism have gained a critical mass of resources over the past few years in the Rock River Valley.
Those resources are support groups, spearheaded by other parents who needed help themselves and decided to do something about it. And they link families not only through networking and social support, but through their Web sites.
Through these online centers, parents and caregivers can link to dozens of longtime agencies they may never have realized could offer help for living with autism.
Another major development, the Easter Seals Autism Therapeutic School, also opened last fall in Rockford.
Now a new local resource is on the horizon. The Autism Program Service Center, funded this year by a $200,000 state grant, is slated to start rolling out services this summer at the Easter Seals Children’s Development Center in Rockford.
Here are some of the local resources.
Northwest Illinois Autism Support Group, rockfordautism.com
The Rockford-based support group’s Web site provides a wealth of resources and activities for families of children with autism.
The “Calendar of Events” link provides input on the group’s own meetings and many other local activities of interest. “Resources and Links” provides access to dozens of groups, agencies and subjects related to children with developmental challenges — from special Rockford Park District programs to guidance on navigating Individualized Education Plans. There’s also a link to the group’s Yahoo group online.
There are personal inks as well. Group members meet monthly during the school year, picnic together during the summer, swap information, e-mail back and forth and lend a sympathetic ear on the phone if someone’s having a bad day.
The Northwest Illinois Autism Support Group started about three years ago with five to 10 people. Attendance at its monthly meetings now averages 30 to 40 people — and about 60 people are in its Yahoo group online, said parent facilitator Amy Eckstrom who founded the support group.
Eckstrom, a parent of a child with autism, said she started the support group because “I needed to know what was normal and wasn’t normal. I wanted validation. I wanted to know more about autism, to know what other parents were doing with everyday challenges.”
The group holds monthly meetings from September through May, from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. every third Thursday of the month at the Easter Seals Children’s Development Center, 650 N. Main St. Meetings generally include speakers on relevant topics as well as a networking and social time. Free child care is offered by Easter Seals; it requires advance registration so enough qualified staffers can be on hand.
The Northwest Illinois Autism Support Group covers Boone County and all of Winnebago County and draws people from as far away as Beloit and Stockton, Eckstrom said.
There is no membership fee and attendance is free.
For more information, see rockfordautism.com .
Ogle County Autism Support Group, ogleautism.com
This support group’s Web site also provides an abundance of links to local and national agencies and programs for autism and developmental issues in general.
There’s also an archive of speakers’ presentations from past meetings.
Most members are from Ogle County but anyone is welcome, said group facilitator Corrina Milbrandt who started the group in 2006 with just a few families. These days, the group’s meetings usually include 10 to 15 families, she said. Milbrandt is herself the parent of a child with autism.
The group holds monthly meetings from September through May, from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. every second Tuesday of the month at St. Mary’s Church, 220 E. Second St., Byron. Child care currently is not provided but plans are in the works, Milbrandt said.
The group also holds picnic events during the summer.
There is no membership fee and attendance is free.
For more information, see ogleautism.com or call Corrina Milbrandt.
Heartland Parent Support Group
The support group is part of the church’s Lighthouse Special Needs ministry. It is for families of special needs children of any age; about two-thirds of those who attend its meetings are autism-related families, said Heartland director of marketing Bob Lovell.
The group meets from 6:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. the first Thursday of each month (its July meeting will be July 10). It meets at Heartland’s 1280 S. Alpine Road location in Meeting Room A146.
Free child care is provide during the meetings, Lovell said, but you need to register ahead of time so staff can plan adequately. Attendance also is free.
For more information, call the church at 815-395-8000 or visit http://rockfordautism.com/Heartland.htm.
The Autism Program (TAP) Service Center at the Easter Seals Children’s Development Center, Rockford
The center is now under development at 650 N. Main St. in Rockford, funded this year by a $200,000 grant from the Illinois Department of Human Services.
Lori Davie, coordinator of the TAP center in Rockford and herself the mother of a child with autism, said the center will offer a number of free services including:
The New Family Diagnosis Orientation, a three-week training session for families whose children have just been diagnosed with autism or who don’t know where to start with treatment. Davie already has conducted two quarterly sessions; time for the next session has not yet been announced.
Screening of children for autism if there are red flags such as repetitive behavior or communication issues (scheduled to start in late summer or early fall).
Diagnostics services with a specially trained psychologist or psychiatrist (also scheduled to start in late summer or early fall).
A Family Community Resource Room — a lending library with books, software programs, leaning aids, CDs and DVDs, with a computer and staff available to assist. The Resource Room also will provide training on such issues as scheduling, sensory issues and potty training. Davie plans to have the Resource Room open by the end of July.
A social skills group held in nine-week sessions (scheduled to start in July).
Family consultation for families who have attended the New Family Diagnosis Orientation and want to meet individually with a counselor (a startup date is not yet scheduled).
Educator/family consultation in which a clinician would visit the family’s home to help with a specific behavior (a startup date is not yet scheduled).
For more information about the TAP center or any of these programs, call Lori Davie at 815-965-6745 extension 284.
Some of the additional programs suggested or linked from local autism support group Web sites are designed for children with any developmental challenge, including autism. Costs may be involved depending on program and eligibility. Here are some of those programs.
The Easter Seals Children’s Development Center Family Support Services, Rockford
The program is for any families of children with developmental disabilities. Its offerings include consultation services, problem-solving help, early intervention family support, books and videos, sibling support and activities, and parent education and training.
The Easter Seals Children’s Development Center in Rockford is at 650 N. Main St. For more information, call 815-965-6745 or visit http://chicago.easterseals.com/site/PageServer?pagename=ILCH_family_support_main.
The Early Intervention Program
The program, funded through the Illinois Department of Human Services, is targeted toward children ages 0 through 3 who are exhibiting developmental problems.
Occupational therapy, speech therapy, behavioral therapy and other services are provided through the program to children who are found eligible.
The local Child and Family Connections office in Loves Park includes Winnebago, Boone and Ogle counties in its service area. For more information, call 815-654-6170 or visit www.acccessni.com.
Milestone, Inc.
The organization, headquartered in Rockford, provides services to children and adults with developmental disabilities. Its many services include social services to help clients reach their full potential, and respite care for qualified caregivers and family members. For more information, visit milestone.org or call 815-654-6100.
The Arc of Winnebago, Boone and Ogle Counties
The organization provides advocacy for people with developmental disabilities. Services include family support to help a child or adult be an integral part of the family, help with making guardianship choices and social skills and relationship building workshops. For more information, visit www.arcwbo.org or call 815-965-3455.
RAMP (Regional Access & Mobilization Project)
The organization advocates for and serves people with disabilities at no cost. It can help parents of children with autism as they navigate the special education and transition maze of public education, and RAMP advocates will attend school meetings with parents to provide help and support if needed. For more information, visit rampcil.org or call the Rockford office at 815-968-7467, or the Belvidere office at 815-544-8404.
STARnet
This organization, funded by an Illinois State Board of Education grant, offers free workshops to the early childhood community in Illinois. Many of its workshops are listed on the calendars of Rock River Valley area autism support groups. For more information, visit WIU.edu/starnet.
HealthyRockford.com staff writer Deborah Austin may be reached at 815-987-1352 or at daustin@rrstar.com
Monday, June 30, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
American Airlines, Cont.
A little more on the story... (my comments follow below)
CARY (WTVD) -- The mother is telling her story exclusively to Eyewitness News.
An American Eagle flight taxiing to an RDU runway was turned around Monday, but not because of a terrorist threat.
The crew was kicking an autistic Cary toddler and his mother off the plane.
As the American Eagle flight headed down the taxiway, two-and-a-half-year-old Jarett Farrell wasn't a happy traveler.
His mother says she was doing all she could to calm the autistic boy, but got no sympathy from the flight crew.
"If they just would have been a little more understanding I think that none of this would have been a problem," Mother, Janice Farrell said.
But it became a big problem for everyone on the plane. Farrell says that's because the flight attendant was indignant.
"She kept coming over and tugging his seatbelt to make it tighter, 'This has to stay tight'. And then he was wiggling around and trying to get out of his seatbelt. And she kept coming over and reprimanding him and yelling at him," Farrell said.
One of the pilots came back to the cabin with a stern warning and Farrell says the frustration level escalated.
She says Jarrett picked up on that and things only got worse.
"He just melted down. He saw me getting upset. He was upset. He was on the floor rolling around," she said.
The pilot returned to the cockpit, turned the plane around and headed back to the terminal.
"The pilot made an announcement that there was a woman and her child on the plane and the child is uncontrollable. And at that point I just broke down," Farrell said.
Farrell says when she got back to her home in Cary she called her husband and they decided that she should call American Airlines corporate. She says a company representative apologized and said the incident should never have happened.
But that's not what American Airlines told Eyewitness News.
A spokesman in Dallas says Jarret was pitching a "raging fit".
And that Janice, who was in a front-row seat, refused to allow her bag to be placed in an overhead compartment, even though there was no under seat stowage.
He says that with a "passenger not complying with FAA regulations, this was the right decision."
Farrell says even though her travel bag had things to calm Jarrett, she did indeed give it to the flight attendant.
"She took my bag and put it up top," Farrell said.
Farrell is taking the train to see family in New Jersey and she and her husband say they will never fly American again.
*************************************
Wow. I'm really shocked and saddened by these stories. It makes me contemplate the weaknesses in human beings, and how stress plays into this.
I've been hearing a lot of talk about this mother, and how she shouldn't have flown, and how she can't expect to have the privilege of flying if she can't control her child. I've heard that people pay good money for their flights, and shouldn't have to tolerate a child misbehaving. I've heard that there is a safety issue involved, and the pilot was following protocol to eject passengers that did not follow the safety regulation of having their seatbelt fastened. I've heard about how the flight attendant inappropriately by reprimanding the child, handling the child, and yelling at the child. I've heard about how the pilot was inappropriate for also reprimanding the child. I've heard that the mother tried to explain that the boy was autistic, yet the staff did not make any accommodation for this disability, nor offer any assistance. And so on...
There are many sides to this incident. I agree that it could have been handled better by both sides.
But I think what happened on that flight speaks very loudly about the lack of compassion we show as human beings. I suppose that with the economy the way it is, and the stresses we are all under, take a toll on us lately. But it seems to me that people are losing their humanity. Their quality of being humane.
The event on the airplane was handled as if it was a spoiled child acting out of control. It was dealt with by anger, by the flight attendant and by the pilot. Was the child out of control, and exhibiting potentially dangerous actions? Yes. He was. (That isn't to say that the situation couldn't have been de-escalated. Or that the safety be restored before any harm was done.) My concern here is that the mother clearly explained that her child had autism, and was met with no understanding, no compassion, no assistance, no attempt to contain the situation in a productive and effective manner. What she was met with was disdain.
What is it about our current state of society that makes it acceptable to ignore a mother in distress? To address a child in obvious distress with anger, even though the event is a product of his disability? Do we no longer feel compelled to offer a helping hand or heart to someone in need?
At no time did the staff express a desire to assist this mother. Why? Was it too difficult to say, "I don't know anything about autism. Is there anything I can do to assist you?" Were the rules so concrete that her bag be taken from her, even though it contained things to assist her in calming her child? Which was the bigger safety risk? The fact that the child was on the floor, or the fact that the bag was not in the overhead? What was in the bag could possible get the child up off the floor.
And now we find more compassion for the other passengers on that flight, because of the huge expense they have put forth to be on the plane. That this somehow vastly overshadows the fact that a woman with a special needs child was in distress. "I pay good money to fly - I shouldn't have to put up with some autistic kid having a fit!"
What if a child had an epileptic seizure? Would you express the same anger? Or a diabetic episode? Have we lost the ability to see that sometimes a fellow human being, even a child, might need a little understanding? Or that the parent needed to be allowed to handle the child her own way, instead of the flight attendant’s way? Or that a stranger yelling at a child who is scared and out of control doesn't help?
I imagine there are ways the mother could have handled the situation better. And there are ways the pilot and the flight attendant could have handled the situation better. And I realize that this isn't a black and white issue, that there were varying shades of grey as well. But what I don't understand is why people didn't see this as a human being in need, and try to put forth just a little bit of effort and compassion to help resolve this issue and assist a fellow human being who needed it. Where is the humanity? Where is the empathy?
The first account I read about this event gave me such a heartsick feeling. Somewhere between all those lines of the article was lurking a warning. It warned me that people with disabilities are not acceptable. That they shouldn't be permitted the same rights and privileges as other, non-disabled people. That their differences are not welcome, nor are they to be 'tolerated,' let alone accepted. Get normal, or get out.
And here, I've had this ongoing dialog with my son. He's been asking more about his autism, and what it means and how it makes him different, and how he feels about this. His big concern of course is that he didn't want to be different. At that age, who does? But I discussed with him about how it is that which makes us different that also makes us special. That we need to embrace our differences, our uniqueness, because it is those things that will make us stand apart from the crowd, which makes us more appealing as people and as friends. Our differences give us each our own particular charm. It's okay to be different. To not be "perfect." Perfectionism doesn't exist and can't be achieved. No one can be perfect, and we all have our own abilities, and our own inabilities.
Reading the article about the boy on the plane made me realize that what I've been telling my son is a lie, when shown under this light. You had better not be 'different' if you want to fly. Or if you want to be a fully participating member of this society.
Geez, that's just sad.
Maybe it isn't really a lie to tell him it's okay to be different. Maybe it's really just a mother's hope. My dream. That my child's autism will also be something that he cherishes, because it enhanced his life by giving him a unique perspective and experience.
CARY (WTVD) -- The mother is telling her story exclusively to Eyewitness News.
An American Eagle flight taxiing to an RDU runway was turned around Monday, but not because of a terrorist threat.
The crew was kicking an autistic Cary toddler and his mother off the plane.
As the American Eagle flight headed down the taxiway, two-and-a-half-year-old Jarett Farrell wasn't a happy traveler.
His mother says she was doing all she could to calm the autistic boy, but got no sympathy from the flight crew.
"If they just would have been a little more understanding I think that none of this would have been a problem," Mother, Janice Farrell said.
But it became a big problem for everyone on the plane. Farrell says that's because the flight attendant was indignant.
"She kept coming over and tugging his seatbelt to make it tighter, 'This has to stay tight'. And then he was wiggling around and trying to get out of his seatbelt. And she kept coming over and reprimanding him and yelling at him," Farrell said.
One of the pilots came back to the cabin with a stern warning and Farrell says the frustration level escalated.
She says Jarrett picked up on that and things only got worse.
"He just melted down. He saw me getting upset. He was upset. He was on the floor rolling around," she said.
The pilot returned to the cockpit, turned the plane around and headed back to the terminal.
"The pilot made an announcement that there was a woman and her child on the plane and the child is uncontrollable. And at that point I just broke down," Farrell said.
Farrell says when she got back to her home in Cary she called her husband and they decided that she should call American Airlines corporate. She says a company representative apologized and said the incident should never have happened.
But that's not what American Airlines told Eyewitness News.
A spokesman in Dallas says Jarret was pitching a "raging fit".
And that Janice, who was in a front-row seat, refused to allow her bag to be placed in an overhead compartment, even though there was no under seat stowage.
He says that with a "passenger not complying with FAA regulations, this was the right decision."
Farrell says even though her travel bag had things to calm Jarrett, she did indeed give it to the flight attendant.
"She took my bag and put it up top," Farrell said.
Farrell is taking the train to see family in New Jersey and she and her husband say they will never fly American again.
*************************************
Wow. I'm really shocked and saddened by these stories. It makes me contemplate the weaknesses in human beings, and how stress plays into this.
I've been hearing a lot of talk about this mother, and how she shouldn't have flown, and how she can't expect to have the privilege of flying if she can't control her child. I've heard that people pay good money for their flights, and shouldn't have to tolerate a child misbehaving. I've heard that there is a safety issue involved, and the pilot was following protocol to eject passengers that did not follow the safety regulation of having their seatbelt fastened. I've heard about how the flight attendant inappropriately by reprimanding the child, handling the child, and yelling at the child. I've heard about how the pilot was inappropriate for also reprimanding the child. I've heard that the mother tried to explain that the boy was autistic, yet the staff did not make any accommodation for this disability, nor offer any assistance. And so on...
There are many sides to this incident. I agree that it could have been handled better by both sides.
But I think what happened on that flight speaks very loudly about the lack of compassion we show as human beings. I suppose that with the economy the way it is, and the stresses we are all under, take a toll on us lately. But it seems to me that people are losing their humanity. Their quality of being humane.
The event on the airplane was handled as if it was a spoiled child acting out of control. It was dealt with by anger, by the flight attendant and by the pilot. Was the child out of control, and exhibiting potentially dangerous actions? Yes. He was. (That isn't to say that the situation couldn't have been de-escalated. Or that the safety be restored before any harm was done.) My concern here is that the mother clearly explained that her child had autism, and was met with no understanding, no compassion, no assistance, no attempt to contain the situation in a productive and effective manner. What she was met with was disdain.
What is it about our current state of society that makes it acceptable to ignore a mother in distress? To address a child in obvious distress with anger, even though the event is a product of his disability? Do we no longer feel compelled to offer a helping hand or heart to someone in need?
At no time did the staff express a desire to assist this mother. Why? Was it too difficult to say, "I don't know anything about autism. Is there anything I can do to assist you?" Were the rules so concrete that her bag be taken from her, even though it contained things to assist her in calming her child? Which was the bigger safety risk? The fact that the child was on the floor, or the fact that the bag was not in the overhead? What was in the bag could possible get the child up off the floor.
And now we find more compassion for the other passengers on that flight, because of the huge expense they have put forth to be on the plane. That this somehow vastly overshadows the fact that a woman with a special needs child was in distress. "I pay good money to fly - I shouldn't have to put up with some autistic kid having a fit!"
What if a child had an epileptic seizure? Would you express the same anger? Or a diabetic episode? Have we lost the ability to see that sometimes a fellow human being, even a child, might need a little understanding? Or that the parent needed to be allowed to handle the child her own way, instead of the flight attendant’s way? Or that a stranger yelling at a child who is scared and out of control doesn't help?
I imagine there are ways the mother could have handled the situation better. And there are ways the pilot and the flight attendant could have handled the situation better. And I realize that this isn't a black and white issue, that there were varying shades of grey as well. But what I don't understand is why people didn't see this as a human being in need, and try to put forth just a little bit of effort and compassion to help resolve this issue and assist a fellow human being who needed it. Where is the humanity? Where is the empathy?
The first account I read about this event gave me such a heartsick feeling. Somewhere between all those lines of the article was lurking a warning. It warned me that people with disabilities are not acceptable. That they shouldn't be permitted the same rights and privileges as other, non-disabled people. That their differences are not welcome, nor are they to be 'tolerated,' let alone accepted. Get normal, or get out.
And here, I've had this ongoing dialog with my son. He's been asking more about his autism, and what it means and how it makes him different, and how he feels about this. His big concern of course is that he didn't want to be different. At that age, who does? But I discussed with him about how it is that which makes us different that also makes us special. That we need to embrace our differences, our uniqueness, because it is those things that will make us stand apart from the crowd, which makes us more appealing as people and as friends. Our differences give us each our own particular charm. It's okay to be different. To not be "perfect." Perfectionism doesn't exist and can't be achieved. No one can be perfect, and we all have our own abilities, and our own inabilities.
Reading the article about the boy on the plane made me realize that what I've been telling my son is a lie, when shown under this light. You had better not be 'different' if you want to fly. Or if you want to be a fully participating member of this society.
Geez, that's just sad.
Maybe it isn't really a lie to tell him it's okay to be different. Maybe it's really just a mother's hope. My dream. That my child's autism will also be something that he cherishes, because it enhanced his life by giving him a unique perspective and experience.
American Airlines
Autistic Boy and Mom Kicked Off Plane
Mother Says Flight Crew Should Have Been More Understanding
By STEPHANIE DAHLE and JONANN BRADY
June 25, 2008 —
There were no weapons on board or concerns about terrorism, but an American Eagle flight about to take off from the Raleigh-Durham, N.C., airport was turned back to its gate on Monday to remove two passengers.
The culprits? An upset, autistic toddler and his mother.
By all accounts, two-year-old Jarret Farrell wasn't a happy traveler. But his mother, Janice Farrell, who said she tried everything to calm her son, believes there was no reason for the airline to kick them off the plane.
The airline disagrees, saying they were removed primarily because Janice Farrell kept her carry-on bag on the floor in front of her seat, but that Jarret's behavior added to the tense situation.
"The child had been crying and screaming uncontrollably, to the point where the child's well being was in question," American Airlines, the parent company of American Eagle, said in a statement. "Though, ultimately, the parent's violation of FAA regulations was the cause for removal, both situations contributed to an uncomfortable and potentially unsafe atmosphere for our passengers and crew."
But Farrell told "GMA" she allowed the flight attendant to place her bag in an overhead compartment. And, even though Farrell said she explained Jarret's autism to the flight crew, they only made the situation worse by reprimanding and yelling at the toddler.
"[The flight attendant] kept coming over and tugging his seatbelt to make it tighter, 'This has to stay tight.' And then he was wiggling around and trying to get out of his seatbelt. And she kept coming over and reprimanding him and yelling at him" Farrell told ABC News' Raleigh-Durham affiliate WTVD.
Farrell said that a pilot came into to the cabin and told Jarret, "You have to get in your seat, young man."
Farrell said she started crying then, which just exacerbated Jarret's behavior.
"He just melted down. He saw me getting upset. He was upset. He was on the floor rolling around," Farrell told WTVD.
That's when the pilot turned the plane around and headed back to the terminal, where Farrell and her son were escorted off the plane.
The Farrells, who were on the way to visit family in New Jersey, were originally supposed to takeoff on Sunday, but the flight was cancelled when the plane was on the runway.
Jarret was perfectly fine on that flight, Farrell said, with crew members letting her son walk around the plane and watch his DVD player.
Farrell said that had the flight crew been more patient and understanding, the situation might not have escalated. She suggested that airline flight attendants and other crew members should be trained to deal with special needs children.
This story was originally reported by Ed Crump at ABC News affiliate WTVD.
Copyright © 2008 ABC News Internet Ventures
http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=5234774
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Comfort Food
Lately I've been trying to encourage Nathan to help out in the kitchen. He seems to get a kick out of it, and I enjoy sharing that with him. Usually he's been my assistant, breaking eggs, pouring in ingredients, etc. Sometimes he's my observer. I've been wanting to boost his confidence a bit in the kitchen, so I figured I would give a main course a try.
I called Nathan into the kitchen, and told him I wanted him to help me with dinner. He put aside his Nintendo DS (now that's monumental!) and rushed to my aide. He's always so willing to help.
This time, I didn't premeasure anything. I picked an easy meal and just told him, step by step, how to make it. You can't get much easier than meatloaf. And with my handy dandy KitchenAid mixer, I didn't even have to worry about sensory issues ("it feels icky!"), since the mixer does all the work. He loves using that mixer! (So do I!) I just told him what we needed, how much, and showed him where to find the measuring cups and such. There isn't much to meatloaf, so it wasn't a big hassle or anything. A few steps, and then I popped it into the oven.
After we were all done, and I was pulling the meatloaf out of the oven, I made a point of thanking him. He asked, "For what?"
I answered, "For making dinner."
His eyes got huge. He didn't realize that he'd made the dinner. He thought he was just giving Mom a hand. "I made dinner?!"
"Well sure! You got everything out. You measured it. You put it in the pan. The only thing I did was take it in and out of the oven. You did it all. Pretty easy stuff, huh?"
His jaw just about hit the floor. "Yeah!" He was so excited, and so proud! And so was I! He even ate TWO meatloaf sandwiches.
And it was the best tasting meatloaf I ever had.
I called Nathan into the kitchen, and told him I wanted him to help me with dinner. He put aside his Nintendo DS (now that's monumental!) and rushed to my aide. He's always so willing to help.
This time, I didn't premeasure anything. I picked an easy meal and just told him, step by step, how to make it. You can't get much easier than meatloaf. And with my handy dandy KitchenAid mixer, I didn't even have to worry about sensory issues ("it feels icky!"), since the mixer does all the work. He loves using that mixer! (So do I!) I just told him what we needed, how much, and showed him where to find the measuring cups and such. There isn't much to meatloaf, so it wasn't a big hassle or anything. A few steps, and then I popped it into the oven.
After we were all done, and I was pulling the meatloaf out of the oven, I made a point of thanking him. He asked, "For what?"
I answered, "For making dinner."
His eyes got huge. He didn't realize that he'd made the dinner. He thought he was just giving Mom a hand. "I made dinner?!"
"Well sure! You got everything out. You measured it. You put it in the pan. The only thing I did was take it in and out of the oven. You did it all. Pretty easy stuff, huh?"
His jaw just about hit the floor. "Yeah!" He was so excited, and so proud! And so was I! He even ate TWO meatloaf sandwiches.
And it was the best tasting meatloaf I ever had.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Picnic in the Park
Last night we had a picnic in the park for the NW IL Autism Support Group.
The weather had been very spotty all day, with strong thunderstorms, followed by lovely sunshine, followed by more storms. So as I got ready to leave work, and saw huge black clouds hanging off to the north (and the direction of the park and home), I was not sure if it would take place. Dh called me at work and said it was pouring there. I shot off an email to the group leader, and asked if the picnic was still a go.
For a dish to pass, I made Nathan's favorite baked beans early in the morning, so all I had to do was heat it up. But as I dogged raindrops on the way home, I wasn't sure that would even be necessary.
A little while after I got home, I got a phonecall from the group leader, asking where the heck I was. LOL! I explained that the food was still heating up, but I would be there shortly. (I think she forgot that I work late this time of year.) I'm glad she called. By that time, the weather had cleared, and the sun was peeking out again.
By the time we walked to the park, it was gorgeous outside. There were quite a few people there, and Dh accompanied me. That was probably a surprise to the rest of the group. They had never met him, LOL! He went off with Nathan to play a little ball, and I went to chat with the other moms.
With my late work hours, by the time I arrived they had all pretty much eaten. But we got to have a pleasant chat, and the kids got to socialize some. Nathan even hit two homeruns, in an informal baseball game!
Nathan started to act funny, not long after arriving. Dh said he thought he might be sick. He turned down an offer of money for the ice cream man, and that's unheard of. I put a hand to his forehead (you know the back of a mom's hand is MUCH more accurate than a doctor's thermometer) and realized that he was ICE cold. Very odd, considering it was quite warm outside. He had goosebumps too, and at times shivered. We all tried to encourage him to drink something, but he wasn't having it. I tried to pursuade Dh that we needed to get Nathan home, but he didn't really realize how bad he was until I got him to feel for himself. Once he felt that icy cold forehead, he agreed, and we packed up to leave.
Nathan was reacting to the heat, and too little to drink. Once we got home in the air conditioning, and he wasn't running around, and I pushed some drinks at him, he started to bounce back.
Ah well. Even though we weren't there long, Nathan thought it was pretty neat. Someone gave him a glow-in-the-dark bracelet, and he was too out of it to know what it was. He tried to leave it behind, but I knew better and grabbed it. When he went to bed, I slipped it onto the arm of his teddy bear (the one he got at the Christmas party). Nathan got a huge kick out of that!
In the middle of the night, he got sick to his stomach, but I kind of expected that. (Smart kid used a bucket, so I didn't even have a bed mess to clean up.) He has often gotten an upset stomach with fevers and with overheating, so I knew it was coming. But there was no sign of his being ill this morning. He was right back to his old self. But I kept him drinking all day, to be safe.
I wish we could have been there longer last night, but I had a nice time while it lasted.
The weather had been very spotty all day, with strong thunderstorms, followed by lovely sunshine, followed by more storms. So as I got ready to leave work, and saw huge black clouds hanging off to the north (and the direction of the park and home), I was not sure if it would take place. Dh called me at work and said it was pouring there. I shot off an email to the group leader, and asked if the picnic was still a go.
For a dish to pass, I made Nathan's favorite baked beans early in the morning, so all I had to do was heat it up. But as I dogged raindrops on the way home, I wasn't sure that would even be necessary.
A little while after I got home, I got a phonecall from the group leader, asking where the heck I was. LOL! I explained that the food was still heating up, but I would be there shortly. (I think she forgot that I work late this time of year.) I'm glad she called. By that time, the weather had cleared, and the sun was peeking out again.
By the time we walked to the park, it was gorgeous outside. There were quite a few people there, and Dh accompanied me. That was probably a surprise to the rest of the group. They had never met him, LOL! He went off with Nathan to play a little ball, and I went to chat with the other moms.
With my late work hours, by the time I arrived they had all pretty much eaten. But we got to have a pleasant chat, and the kids got to socialize some. Nathan even hit two homeruns, in an informal baseball game!
Nathan started to act funny, not long after arriving. Dh said he thought he might be sick. He turned down an offer of money for the ice cream man, and that's unheard of. I put a hand to his forehead (you know the back of a mom's hand is MUCH more accurate than a doctor's thermometer) and realized that he was ICE cold. Very odd, considering it was quite warm outside. He had goosebumps too, and at times shivered. We all tried to encourage him to drink something, but he wasn't having it. I tried to pursuade Dh that we needed to get Nathan home, but he didn't really realize how bad he was until I got him to feel for himself. Once he felt that icy cold forehead, he agreed, and we packed up to leave.
Nathan was reacting to the heat, and too little to drink. Once we got home in the air conditioning, and he wasn't running around, and I pushed some drinks at him, he started to bounce back.
Ah well. Even though we weren't there long, Nathan thought it was pretty neat. Someone gave him a glow-in-the-dark bracelet, and he was too out of it to know what it was. He tried to leave it behind, but I knew better and grabbed it. When he went to bed, I slipped it onto the arm of his teddy bear (the one he got at the Christmas party). Nathan got a huge kick out of that!
In the middle of the night, he got sick to his stomach, but I kind of expected that. (Smart kid used a bucket, so I didn't even have a bed mess to clean up.) He has often gotten an upset stomach with fevers and with overheating, so I knew it was coming. But there was no sign of his being ill this morning. He was right back to his old self. But I kept him drinking all day, to be safe.
I wish we could have been there longer last night, but I had a nice time while it lasted.
Camp, Week 1
The first week of camp is over, and it was mostly a success. The second day was bumpy, but only a mini melt, not a full blown neuclear meltdown. Considering he had been so excited to go that he had very little sleep for a couple days, coupled with all the change and unfamiliar circumstances, it's not a big surprise that he had trouble.
However, there were two things that really struck me about the past week.
1. Nathan came home on the first day, and casually described what they did for the day, including telling me the name of the one-on-one aide, AND the name of a kid that he was becoming friends with. Now, keep in mind here, Nathan doesn't remember names. Never has. He has gone to school with kids for years, and except for one or two exceptions, he has never even bothered to learn anyone's names. For him to come home, after ONE day, and know not one but TWO names, is monumental!
2. One of the leaders asked me about Nathan's social skills, and filled me in about how Nathan has been playing very well with the other kids, has been inviting other kids to play board games with him, and for the kids that didn't know the game he very patiently explained and taught the other child how to play. She said he was displaying very good social skills! Woah! That's GREAT news! I knew at school they had seen some marked gradual improvement in this regard over the course of the school year. But to have someone who doesn't know him consider him to have good social skills is really amazing. I know they are still probably not what you would see in an NT child - the leader was probably speaking in relative terms, but it's still really cool. Two years ago, Nathan was known for going out to recess and just standing well away from the other children, watching. He didn't play, he didn't interact. At all. At the end of one year, the school was very excited because a group of kids invited Nathan to join in during a game of football on the playground, and he jumped at the chance. He had never done that before at school. At the end of two years, I was excited because he had been learning the names of his really close friends, kids he'd been in class with for several years. And he would have what I would call a very strong friendship with one boy. Big stuff. But I never would have guessed that he'd be inviting kids to play, learning their names, or acting in a mentoring fashion.
He just seems to be blossoming in the past year. There are so many big advancements, that I have to believe it's more of a matter of something "clicked" inside, rather than it was the result of any one person, program or environment. It carries over to too many things. Like the fact that he's now able to be left alone for short periods of time, and he's volunteering to help around the house and around the yard, and he's getting better about showing some self awareness and self control. He's doing better with academics (at least making an occassional effort to listen and participate in class).
This is the Nathan I expected to see at school. Actually, I expected him to be in the top of his class, but I expected him to be participating, friendly, more in control, and happy. I've been so frustrated because I know he has it in him, but for some reason, they can't seem to provide the environment or the atmosphere for him to thrive. Instead, it seems to be all about control, discipline, behaving...
If only we could get a teacher with patience and flexiblity! Someone who won't judge him as a spoiled rotten brat the first time he has a melt. Someone who won't draw lines in the sand with him. (Hey, I can HOPE, can't I?)
Right now, in camp, his one-on-one is very young. A college student, I assume. But she is very upbeat and cheerful. An awesome personality to work with Nathan. She instictively knew to give him time and space when he was upset, and backed off when she could see her attempts to communicate were frustrating him. She sends me notes, telling me what a funny and good kid Nathan is, and how he makes her feel good about herself, too. And that was at the end of the day that he melted. Most adults write him off after a bad day, and assume he's a bad child. Not this girl. Thank goodness.
I know it's early yet, but I have to relish this. I love being able to drop him off for the day, and know he's going to have fun. Not just not melt down, but actually enjoy himself. And I love not having to fear for him, that someone will respond to his frustration with anger or restraint or humiliation. Instead, for at least a while, I can feel like any other mom. I can smile and hug him before he goes off for the day, and not feel dread. And I can come home from work and listen to him excitedly chatter on about playing games and finding neat rocks.
I love summer!
However, there were two things that really struck me about the past week.
1. Nathan came home on the first day, and casually described what they did for the day, including telling me the name of the one-on-one aide, AND the name of a kid that he was becoming friends with. Now, keep in mind here, Nathan doesn't remember names. Never has. He has gone to school with kids for years, and except for one or two exceptions, he has never even bothered to learn anyone's names. For him to come home, after ONE day, and know not one but TWO names, is monumental!
2. One of the leaders asked me about Nathan's social skills, and filled me in about how Nathan has been playing very well with the other kids, has been inviting other kids to play board games with him, and for the kids that didn't know the game he very patiently explained and taught the other child how to play. She said he was displaying very good social skills! Woah! That's GREAT news! I knew at school they had seen some marked gradual improvement in this regard over the course of the school year. But to have someone who doesn't know him consider him to have good social skills is really amazing. I know they are still probably not what you would see in an NT child - the leader was probably speaking in relative terms, but it's still really cool. Two years ago, Nathan was known for going out to recess and just standing well away from the other children, watching. He didn't play, he didn't interact. At all. At the end of one year, the school was very excited because a group of kids invited Nathan to join in during a game of football on the playground, and he jumped at the chance. He had never done that before at school. At the end of two years, I was excited because he had been learning the names of his really close friends, kids he'd been in class with for several years. And he would have what I would call a very strong friendship with one boy. Big stuff. But I never would have guessed that he'd be inviting kids to play, learning their names, or acting in a mentoring fashion.
He just seems to be blossoming in the past year. There are so many big advancements, that I have to believe it's more of a matter of something "clicked" inside, rather than it was the result of any one person, program or environment. It carries over to too many things. Like the fact that he's now able to be left alone for short periods of time, and he's volunteering to help around the house and around the yard, and he's getting better about showing some self awareness and self control. He's doing better with academics (at least making an occassional effort to listen and participate in class).
This is the Nathan I expected to see at school. Actually, I expected him to be in the top of his class, but I expected him to be participating, friendly, more in control, and happy. I've been so frustrated because I know he has it in him, but for some reason, they can't seem to provide the environment or the atmosphere for him to thrive. Instead, it seems to be all about control, discipline, behaving...
If only we could get a teacher with patience and flexiblity! Someone who won't judge him as a spoiled rotten brat the first time he has a melt. Someone who won't draw lines in the sand with him. (Hey, I can HOPE, can't I?)
Right now, in camp, his one-on-one is very young. A college student, I assume. But she is very upbeat and cheerful. An awesome personality to work with Nathan. She instictively knew to give him time and space when he was upset, and backed off when she could see her attempts to communicate were frustrating him. She sends me notes, telling me what a funny and good kid Nathan is, and how he makes her feel good about herself, too. And that was at the end of the day that he melted. Most adults write him off after a bad day, and assume he's a bad child. Not this girl. Thank goodness.
I know it's early yet, but I have to relish this. I love being able to drop him off for the day, and know he's going to have fun. Not just not melt down, but actually enjoy himself. And I love not having to fear for him, that someone will respond to his frustration with anger or restraint or humiliation. Instead, for at least a while, I can feel like any other mom. I can smile and hug him before he goes off for the day, and not feel dread. And I can come home from work and listen to him excitedly chatter on about playing games and finding neat rocks.
I love summer!
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Let's Go For a Drive
Father's Day brought another milestone for my little boy. Hm. Not so little anymore.
Dad suggested going go-carting. This must be a guy thing, because the thrill of this event just eludes me. But Dh loves it, and Nathan loves it, so off to the go-cart track we went.
I did try this activity. Once. I am not smitten with it the way my guys are. In fact, I thought it had pretty much zero fun factor. So I retire to the picnic benches that line the track, and dutifully cheer my son on from a safe distance.
This time was different though. You see, up until now, Dh and Nathan have shared a go-cart. It was a father-son activity, with Dad driving and Nathan riding shotgun. They would sit side by side, with Nathan holding on to a non-functioning steering wheel. This time, however, we asked the tired looking woman behind the glass at the ticket window how tall Nathan had to be, in order to drive his own go-cart.
She pointed behind us to a post with a line painted on it. Nathan flew to the post and put his back against it, and tried to stretch himself to his full height, and then some, if he could possibly manage it. He didn't need to stretch. He had grown several inches since last year, so he easily passed the minimum height requirement with over an inch to spare.
Nathan was SO excited! He dashed off, with Dad tailing, to find his own go-cart to drive. I had snuck a camera into my purse, just in case, and got it ready. Nathan jumped behind the wheel of the go-cart of his choice, and Dh took the go-cart just behind him in line.
I marveled at Nathan's fearlessness. I don't think I would have even wanted to go alone at that age. I was always a bit of a scaredy cat as a kid. (Sometimes as an adult, too.) But he didn't hesitate. And that's a big deal to me, because I've seen him unable to put one foot in front of the other, just because he was uncertain about what to do. Not this time, though. This time, he jumped right into the deep end.
By the end, he was cutting people off, passing other cars right and left, and yelling, "You're not gonna pass ME!" at some poor adult that dared to creep up on him. It was funny, and encouraging all at the same time. What a wonderful thing a bit of self confidence is.
At times he was so determined and intent, that his face just exuded his singlemindedness. And at other times, he was laughing at the thrill of the speed and the competitiveness.
I could only watch from the stands, and enjoy this rite of passage. And take a picture, of course. I delighted in his freedom, and his newfound maturity, and his pure joy.
I don't think I'll look at go-carting the same way again. Now it will always warm this precious memory in my heart.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
A Milestone
We hit a real milestone yesterday! We left Nathan alone for the first time.
It wasn't for long, of course. We just ran a short errand. But we wanted him to start getting used to being alone, and being more independent. We figured we'd leave him alone for little short trips to the store and such, and work up to longer periods of time, over time.
Of course, Mom stared at her cell phone the whole time. But even though my paranoia was in high gear, I was also excited for him, too. He wasn't worried in the least, and thought it was pretty cool that we just up and left him alone like that, with no warning. He was all grins. And wanted to know right off the bat when we were going to do that again, lol! And I felt silly for being paranoid over nothing. He was ready for this long ago. Mom was the only one who wasn't. Maybe next time I can pry my fingers off my cell phone, and quit letting my imagination get the best of me. (I didn't call him, I just held onto it, just in case it rang... I know, I'm a nut.)
I'm so proud of him! He's been really making huge strides in his independence. He is really growing up. eek!
But it was a really neat thing for me - spontaneity! It's been a long time since I just up and ran out of the house without making arrangements. Without thinking that I can't do something, because I have responsibilities. Wow, it's amazing what a thrill a little thing like that is! It was very freeing. I felt younger, lol.
Now I'm not so sure who hit a milestone here. Nathan seemed more than ready for it. Maybe it was Paranoid Mom who really hit the milestone, hmm?
It wasn't for long, of course. We just ran a short errand. But we wanted him to start getting used to being alone, and being more independent. We figured we'd leave him alone for little short trips to the store and such, and work up to longer periods of time, over time.
Of course, Mom stared at her cell phone the whole time. But even though my paranoia was in high gear, I was also excited for him, too. He wasn't worried in the least, and thought it was pretty cool that we just up and left him alone like that, with no warning. He was all grins. And wanted to know right off the bat when we were going to do that again, lol! And I felt silly for being paranoid over nothing. He was ready for this long ago. Mom was the only one who wasn't. Maybe next time I can pry my fingers off my cell phone, and quit letting my imagination get the best of me. (I didn't call him, I just held onto it, just in case it rang... I know, I'm a nut.)
I'm so proud of him! He's been really making huge strides in his independence. He is really growing up. eek!
But it was a really neat thing for me - spontaneity! It's been a long time since I just up and ran out of the house without making arrangements. Without thinking that I can't do something, because I have responsibilities. Wow, it's amazing what a thrill a little thing like that is! It was very freeing. I felt younger, lol.
Now I'm not so sure who hit a milestone here. Nathan seemed more than ready for it. Maybe it was Paranoid Mom who really hit the milestone, hmm?
Monday, June 9, 2008
PT Progress
I went to PT today, and it was my last visit before I return to the orthopedic doc tomorrow. So the therapist ran a bunch of tests to see if my mobility has improved.
I got my arm almost all the way up when I raised it straight out in front of me, and up over my head. Big improvement when I couldn't raise it more than 90 degrees in the beginning.
I also raised my arm straight out at the side up quite a bit. Not all the way up over my head, but still, a big improvement. In the beginning I couldn't raise it over 90 degrees either.
In my grip, there was a big improvement, too. I went from 40 pounds to 80 pounds! She was real surprised with that. Pleasantly surprised.
See, I DO do the excercises at home!
She said she suspects the doc will keep sending me to PT with this kind of progress.
Progress. That's such a comforting word. I guess I get unrealistic expectations, and I hope that I'll be all fixed and back to normal after a few weeks, and I let myself get discouraged when that doesn't happen. So instead, right now I'm kind of celebrating inside. Okay, so maybe I don't have the shoulder of my youth, but at least I have a heck of a lot more movement and a heck of a lot less pain than I did a month ago. And I worked hard! So I deserve a little celebrating!
So that's my little mental pat-on-the-back for the day, LOL!
I got my arm almost all the way up when I raised it straight out in front of me, and up over my head. Big improvement when I couldn't raise it more than 90 degrees in the beginning.
I also raised my arm straight out at the side up quite a bit. Not all the way up over my head, but still, a big improvement. In the beginning I couldn't raise it over 90 degrees either.
In my grip, there was a big improvement, too. I went from 40 pounds to 80 pounds! She was real surprised with that. Pleasantly surprised.
See, I DO do the excercises at home!
She said she suspects the doc will keep sending me to PT with this kind of progress.
Progress. That's such a comforting word. I guess I get unrealistic expectations, and I hope that I'll be all fixed and back to normal after a few weeks, and I let myself get discouraged when that doesn't happen. So instead, right now I'm kind of celebrating inside. Okay, so maybe I don't have the shoulder of my youth, but at least I have a heck of a lot more movement and a heck of a lot less pain than I did a month ago. And I worked hard! So I deserve a little celebrating!
So that's my little mental pat-on-the-back for the day, LOL!
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Summer Begins
Well, PT has been going well, I guess. I've got a lot more movement in my arm, and can even reach a little behind my back. Not much behind, but still an improvement. I still have the really bad pain when I lift up, out or behind, but it isn't constant. The lesser pain has pretty much disappeared, like the constant throbbing. (I think that had more to do with the increase in arthritis drugs than PT, though, but I could be wrong.) I've got the use of my left arm back, which is very good. Before, I felt like it was a useless appendage, but now I can use it somewhat. So that helped. I must admit, however, that I'm a little disappointed that I haven't seen more significant improvement. Maybe it's just a matter of more time and therapy. Or maybe it's not going to get much better. I'm not sure which. I go back to the orthopedic doc this week, so maybe I'll get a better idea after that.
Nathan has had a meltdown at school. For some reason, they didn't see fit to call me, and called Dh instead. Later, I found out from Nathan that he had been playing a card game in class with some kids at his table, and they started to make fun of him for losing. He got frustrated and lost it. The teacher asked Dh to find out what he got so upset about - they had no idea. I had to wonder why they didn't know. The teacher said that she was with another student, and the para was not present either. Hm. How come? That para is his one-on-one aide. Perhaps she would have been able to stop the other kids from making fun of him and prevented the melt. She was not around when the game was being played. She should have been. I didn't bother reporting back to the teacher why the melt occurred. They usually come to their own conclusions anyway, and don't accept what I tell them. And when there was only a couple days left in school, explaining a meltdown seems a little useless anyway. Hell, if they haven't figured out by now that he has a hard time with perfectionism and comptetition, they aren't going to figure out. Sigh.
Nathan has been SO helpful around the house lately. He comes up and offers to help me do dishes, or put away laundry, or whatever. He's even been doing yard work; weeding, trimming trees, mowing, etc. It's been an enormous help to me, when I struggle with the shoulder pain. And it's really neat to see him show empathy and concern for others. That's a huge step up for him! I'm really proud of him.
He's also been doing better in school. He is showing a lot more creativity when writing! I was so excited to see that. I knew he had it in him, because I've helped him to do creative writing assignments before. I usually had to help him get his ideas together or come up with a topic, or to help him get "unstuck" from writer's block. He had great ideas, but he just didn't seem to know what to do with them, to get them on the paper. So I'd ask him basic questions. (What kind of story do you want to tell? Oh, that sounds interesting! What do you want to happen? Okay, what's going to happen first? How will you finish it? This is a really neat story; what do you want to call it?) He just needed a little confidence, I think. Some nudging. In his head, he thought he couldn't write a story, or an essay. But once he found out that all he had to do is come up with an idea, and put it in some kind of order, he realized it wasn't so hard after all.
He used to melt down when they gave him a writing assignment. Then he'd come home and we'd have the assignment done in no time. I wondered why the school had so much trouble with this? Couldn't they see he was just scared? Lacking confidence? He just needed a little bit of guidance. Not even a lot. And here, we'd have FUN writing stories. Sometimes he was disappointed when I said it sounded like he had a good stopping point, and should end the story there. He wanted to just keep going. (Maybe Mom's love of storytelling has gotten into his bones?) :) The teacher thought he was just being lazy, and trying to get out of work. But I knew better. Nathan is far from lazy when it comes to learning. He's just kind of shy about some things. And that gets him frustrated. He wants to do it, but he doesn't think he can, and this gets him very upset. Too bad this was lost on his teacher. She might have enjoyed the results as much as I do.
Nathan had a particularly bad day at school. His teacher said he wasn't productive, and also refused to do a writing assignment, which she was sending home. When I read this in her email, I knew that when I got home from work, I'd be working with Nathan on that assignment. I can't tell you how thrilled I was to get home and find out that he not only did the assignment (all by himself!), but it was a really cute story about what he would do if he was only an inch tall. It was all done, it was done independently, and it was entertaining. And he ENJOYED doing it! Now why couldn't that have happened at school???
Thursday was the last full day of school. They go back on Monday for a couple hours, and then he is done for the year! HOORAY!!
I am so relieved to have him out of there for the summer. I try to be optimistic about next year, but it's hard. I haven't been impressed with the way the school deals with autism, that's for sure. I hope he at least gets a patient teacher next year. Not one who rushes to (negative) judgement. That would help a lot.
I'm also not looking forward to the daycare situation for the summer. Next week will be stress free, with Grandma & Grandpa caring for him, and Dh taking time off of work for a couple days, too. But after that, back to public daycare. Yikes. I sure hope that goes well. Last year, it was up and down. He had a great one-on-one aide, that seemed to have a real good feel for when Nathan gets upset and how to combat that. No meltdowns! But they often weren't very attentive, and Nathan got bullied a lot, and ignored by the staff at times. At one point, he decided enough was enough and tried to walk home. He nearly got to an incredibly busy street before the staff discovered that he was missing and went after him. I sure hope this new arrangement will be better than that. But I've lost my blind optimism when it comes to daycare.
But I'm still in a celebratory mood. No judgemental teachers for the summer! YIPPEEEE! No homework supervision! No IEP meetings! No threats of felony arrest for digital notetaking! Ahhhhhh, peace! At least for the next week. :)
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