Back to that School

The Christmas break has come to an end, and with enormous trepidation, I watched him head back to class.

It would be nice to be like other parents once again, and look forward to my child's return to school. That is not our lot. For me, school has become a fear, a danger.

The phone rang from the school today. Of course, my heart fell into my shoes. What now? Restraint? Seclusion? Humiliation? Injury?

This time it was a simple childhood booboo. Nothing to panic over. Ice pack and comforting words and back to class. Whew. The other kind of calls are far too plentiful. I can't take much more of those.

I wonder how these people on the school staff can bring themselves to inflict such trauma on children, and on their families. Where is their conscious? Where is that still small voice within that whispers, "This is wrong. So very wrong."?

They must be at least aware that what they are doing is wrong, because they hide it from me as best they can. They have even taken to hanging up the phone on me, so they can restrain him without my knowledge. They don't file reports about restraining him, so they have no one to answer for when they violate the IEP. Nothing written, no proof. Twice within one week, too.

I'm sick to my stomach that he's back there. Summer can't come soon enough for this mom.