Last night my company had an open house for Halloween. They invited everybody to bring their kids to trick or treat at the office. I didn't know what to expect, since they had never done this before, but I was definately going to at least stop in for a little while. Poor ds has spent so much time sitting in hospital waiting rooms, that he really needed some kid-time.
I'm so glad I went. I was surprised about the decorations. My boss hinted that she was going to get lots of stuff to make our department look cool. It was great. Spider webs, a huge spider, rubber rats, you name it. Very festive. All the other departments did the same. It was pretty neat.
Dh couldn't make it. That was the only chance he'd have to see his mom in the hospital, and we couldn't all be no-shows. So I suggested he just drop ds off with me at 5:00, and I'd bring him by the hospital when we were done. I figured even if it was during the 2 hour no-visitation time, they would likely make an exception for ds to just go to the window and wave at Grandma in his costume.
Anyway, they not only decorated at work, and had candy of course, but they also had a feast of goodies! Sandwiches, fruit cabobs, chips, veggie trays with dip, and a Chocolate Fountain, complete with marshmallows, pretzels, angle food chunks, nilla wafers, rice krispy treats, etc that we could dunk in the flowing chocolate! Ds was thrilled. They had games for the kids, crafts, coloring, all kinds of stuff. And the real topper was that he found someone from his school. He had such a blast. It was great to see. I was so happy for him, I was teary.
We never did make it to the hospital last night. MIL was so worn out that she was asleep, and they didn't want to disturb her. I figured we could always go there during the actual Halloween instead.
Ds has been so happy, and so good. He finished his major project for school. He had the presentation this morning. All finished on time, in spite the fact we were never home, and he had to do the whole thing on the fly between hospital vigils. I promised him a Bakugan (translation for non-parents: a modern day Transformers-type toy) if he worked hard on his project and turned it in on time. No problem! Even though we did kind of put it off for a while, it was still finished with lots of time to spare. I had a doctor appointment myself this morning, with my orthopedic specialist, so I was going in to work a little late. I told ds I would drive him to school. He was happy about that. No rushing, no pressure. It was a nice and mellow morning.
His presentation went well. He lost part of his costume along the way, but no problem. It's HOT today! And for the record: DH TURNED ON THE AIR CONDITIONER!! ON HALLOWEEN!!
Friday, October 31, 2008
Venting
Seems like every time we start to see light at the end of the tunnel, something else happens to just blow us right out of the water.
Dh got a phonecall from the hospital today. They put MIL on a ventilator. Her oxygen levels were dropping way too low while she slept. They didn't know why, and were sending her down for an ultrasound and CT scan, and possibly other tests. They were going to sedate her and restrain her, to get the tubes into her to ventilate her, but they decided they couldn't sedate her due to the tests that they want to run. I hear as soon as they got her on the ventilator, she fell asleep. They believe it was because she was finally breathing well, and comfortable, so she finally COULD sleep.
Come to find out, the big problem is that she wasn't expelling CO2.
Dh is all freaked out. Me too, to be honest. He just went back to the hospital. The unknown is scary. They are waiting to see what her oxygen levels are. From what I understand, if her CO2 issue doesn't resolve on the ventilator, then it could be neurological...? That doesn't sound good.
I haven't spoken to any of the medical people. Dh is off to try to find out more. No one seems to really know for sure what is going on or why, and the test results are not back in yet.
Geez, I really thought things were finally turning a corner. When will this roller coaster ride level out some?
Dh got a phonecall from the hospital today. They put MIL on a ventilator. Her oxygen levels were dropping way too low while she slept. They didn't know why, and were sending her down for an ultrasound and CT scan, and possibly other tests. They were going to sedate her and restrain her, to get the tubes into her to ventilate her, but they decided they couldn't sedate her due to the tests that they want to run. I hear as soon as they got her on the ventilator, she fell asleep. They believe it was because she was finally breathing well, and comfortable, so she finally COULD sleep.
Come to find out, the big problem is that she wasn't expelling CO2.
Dh is all freaked out. Me too, to be honest. He just went back to the hospital. The unknown is scary. They are waiting to see what her oxygen levels are. From what I understand, if her CO2 issue doesn't resolve on the ventilator, then it could be neurological...? That doesn't sound good.
I haven't spoken to any of the medical people. Dh is off to try to find out more. No one seems to really know for sure what is going on or why, and the test results are not back in yet.
Geez, I really thought things were finally turning a corner. When will this roller coaster ride level out some?
Good News!
Mil has been doing better! Her vitals are good, all the numbers are where they are supposed to be. Kidney function seems to be reasonably good, good enough to take her off dialysis. They're removing the dialysis port. Blood sugar good. She's moving more, showing more strength. Coughing a lot, which is exhausting, but getting out the bad stuff, which is good.
Still having trouble breathing. Doc says it's because of the colitis, that it's pushing everything upward and pressuring her lungs. He says it's just time on that one. Same goes for her talking.
They're talking about pumping food directly into her stomach. Real food, not the IV. They want to get her stomach working. They say this will kick start her appetite. Oh, I hope so. She's not eating at all.
They had her stand up today!! That's the first time in at least three weeks. Excellent news! Of course, it was only a moment, but gotta start somewhere.
Her spirits are a little dampened. She's frustrated. But she's not giving up! That's the best thing. As long as she's hanging tough, the better her chances.
Still not out of the woods yet. (Geez, I'm tired of this neck of the woods! I can only imagine how tired she must be of it.) Still in critical condition, still in intensive care. But we're getting a glimpse of daylight ahead.
Still having trouble breathing. Doc says it's because of the colitis, that it's pushing everything upward and pressuring her lungs. He says it's just time on that one. Same goes for her talking.
They're talking about pumping food directly into her stomach. Real food, not the IV. They want to get her stomach working. They say this will kick start her appetite. Oh, I hope so. She's not eating at all.
They had her stand up today!! That's the first time in at least three weeks. Excellent news! Of course, it was only a moment, but gotta start somewhere.
Her spirits are a little dampened. She's frustrated. But she's not giving up! That's the best thing. As long as she's hanging tough, the better her chances.
Still not out of the woods yet. (Geez, I'm tired of this neck of the woods! I can only imagine how tired she must be of it.) Still in critical condition, still in intensive care. But we're getting a glimpse of daylight ahead.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Fading Away
I got a heartbreaking phonecall today. Dh called me at work, and told me "they don't think she's going to make it."
I've spent all day at the hospital. We're all devastated. The nurses say they've seen this before. She's just fading away.
Her numbers are okay. Her white cell count has returned to normal. Her kidneys seem to be functioning okay - the number isn't below one like they'd prefer, but it's still well lower than it was, still below two, and seems to be functioning reasonably well. Blood pressure is good. Blood sugar is good.
But she's worse. Much worse. She's not really moving at all anymore. Her coloring is bad. Her voice wouldn't qualify as a whisper. Her breathing is very labored. They may put her on a respirator.
The doctors say she is just so weak from fighting the infection. Like her body is just giving up. She seems to be emotionally giving up, too. She asked me to get her youngest son back here. (He had gone back home, when we thought she was improving.)
BIL is on his way. So is nephew. Maybe more. They'll arrive in the middle of the night.
I'm reminded of other phone calls, long ago. Similar telephone conversations. The voiceless patient in the bed. The sterile equipment and people of the ICU unit. The helplessness. The same prayers. The same pain.
Part of me believes that she would make it if she would just have that will. At the moment, she doesn't have it. Will she get it back, before it's too late?
I've spent all day at the hospital. We're all devastated. The nurses say they've seen this before. She's just fading away.
Her numbers are okay. Her white cell count has returned to normal. Her kidneys seem to be functioning okay - the number isn't below one like they'd prefer, but it's still well lower than it was, still below two, and seems to be functioning reasonably well. Blood pressure is good. Blood sugar is good.
But she's worse. Much worse. She's not really moving at all anymore. Her coloring is bad. Her voice wouldn't qualify as a whisper. Her breathing is very labored. They may put her on a respirator.
The doctors say she is just so weak from fighting the infection. Like her body is just giving up. She seems to be emotionally giving up, too. She asked me to get her youngest son back here. (He had gone back home, when we thought she was improving.)
BIL is on his way. So is nephew. Maybe more. They'll arrive in the middle of the night.
I'm reminded of other phone calls, long ago. Similar telephone conversations. The voiceless patient in the bed. The sterile equipment and people of the ICU unit. The helplessness. The same prayers. The same pain.
Part of me believes that she would make it if she would just have that will. At the moment, she doesn't have it. Will she get it back, before it's too late?
Sunday, October 26, 2008
A Downturn
The news today was not so great. MIL's white cell count has continued to drop. Now it is BELOW normal. That's not good either. It could be because of the dialysis.
Her breathing is still quite labored. A resperator is still not out of the question. This too could be because of the dialysis.
She's not eating much. While she seemed to have a better night, and dh stayed all night without any calls into her room after about 2am, she was struggling this morning. Another panic attack, probably brought on by her breathing troubles.
She's not eating well today. Says she's not hungry. She's so tired, they aren't even going to attempt to put her into a chair today. (They've been very insistant about it in the past.)
I'm hoping the day turns around some.
Her breathing is still quite labored. A resperator is still not out of the question. This too could be because of the dialysis.
She's not eating much. While she seemed to have a better night, and dh stayed all night without any calls into her room after about 2am, she was struggling this morning. Another panic attack, probably brought on by her breathing troubles.
She's not eating well today. Says she's not hungry. She's so tired, they aren't even going to attempt to put her into a chair today. (They've been very insistant about it in the past.)
I'm hoping the day turns around some.
Numbers Down
Got good news lately on MIL! Her white cell count is NORMAL! Woohoo! That's really good news. That indicates that the infection is being brought under control. (The infectious colitis).
Her kidney numbers have also improved. I don't know what the numbers are right now, but I know the docs are happy with them. (They were 2.2 a few days ago, so it's below that.) They don't have full kidney function yet, but there is significant improvement on that front.
The fluid that has built up in her body is now coming down. She has lost a lot of weight. The terrible swelling in her hands and arms is nearly gone. And she's gaining movement in her arms and legs! She wasn't able to lift a spoon to her mouth earlier this week, and now she can feed herself. (She doesn't do it enough, but she can do it.)
The doctors want her to EAT. And sleep. She wasn't doing much of either. However, today I heard she ate more than she has all week! Wonderful news! It's not enough for a bird to live on, but it's a great start and we were delighted to hear it.
She slept a lot today too. I'm not sure if that's good or bad. She needs sleep, big time. But the problem is, she's not sleeping at night at all. And in the middle of the night, she gets panic attacks. Bad ones. We're hoping she'll start to get a bit of sleep at night, and maybe get past those panic attacks. That would help.
The c. diff. is still an issue. It's not gone yet. I have no idea how long it takes for that to run it's course or get under control. But I hope it's soon.
And her breathing is still very labored at times. She's getting breathing treatments every so many hours. They help. But it can get bad in between treatments. And she's so weak she can hardly talk. Her voice is a whisper, and breathing and talking seem like too much effort. It really is disconcerting. I want to see this improve, and soon.
She's still in critical condition. And she's still in intensive care. But she is definately showing some signs of improvement, and I hope that soon is across the board. She made a true effort to eat today, and that's wonderful. If she continues to fight back, we could soon see a big turnaround.
But overall, today is FAR better than a few days ago. :)
Bil and nephew left to go back home, at least for now. Sil is still here. Other sil might come down tomorrow, I'm not sure, but it would only be for the day. (Seems like a lot of driving for so little time here.)
Anyway, lots of good news this week. I'm hoping that trend continues...
Her kidney numbers have also improved. I don't know what the numbers are right now, but I know the docs are happy with them. (They were 2.2 a few days ago, so it's below that.) They don't have full kidney function yet, but there is significant improvement on that front.
The fluid that has built up in her body is now coming down. She has lost a lot of weight. The terrible swelling in her hands and arms is nearly gone. And she's gaining movement in her arms and legs! She wasn't able to lift a spoon to her mouth earlier this week, and now she can feed herself. (She doesn't do it enough, but she can do it.)
The doctors want her to EAT. And sleep. She wasn't doing much of either. However, today I heard she ate more than she has all week! Wonderful news! It's not enough for a bird to live on, but it's a great start and we were delighted to hear it.
She slept a lot today too. I'm not sure if that's good or bad. She needs sleep, big time. But the problem is, she's not sleeping at night at all. And in the middle of the night, she gets panic attacks. Bad ones. We're hoping she'll start to get a bit of sleep at night, and maybe get past those panic attacks. That would help.
The c. diff. is still an issue. It's not gone yet. I have no idea how long it takes for that to run it's course or get under control. But I hope it's soon.
And her breathing is still very labored at times. She's getting breathing treatments every so many hours. They help. But it can get bad in between treatments. And she's so weak she can hardly talk. Her voice is a whisper, and breathing and talking seem like too much effort. It really is disconcerting. I want to see this improve, and soon.
She's still in critical condition. And she's still in intensive care. But she is definately showing some signs of improvement, and I hope that soon is across the board. She made a true effort to eat today, and that's wonderful. If she continues to fight back, we could soon see a big turnaround.
But overall, today is FAR better than a few days ago. :)
Bil and nephew left to go back home, at least for now. Sil is still here. Other sil might come down tomorrow, I'm not sure, but it would only be for the day. (Seems like a lot of driving for so little time here.)
Anyway, lots of good news this week. I'm hoping that trend continues...
Hair Today Gone Today
Well, I finally did it. I got my hair cut. It's been ages since I've had it cut, and it was so grown out, out of shape, and just a mess. A friend has been encouraging me to go to her hairstylist, and I finally grabbed the phone and called.
I'm so glad I did. I usually have to cut my hair every 6-8 weeks, tops. It's been well past that point. My hair grows fast, and it's thick. And rather curly. (I know, my avatars don't always display that, but there aren't many grey hairstyles, and not many curly styles to choose from.)
I could only schedule an appointment during visiting hours, which was not ideal. But there was no getting around it if I wanted anything done in the near future.
Boy, did I need that. It was such a TREAT! The stylist was really good, and she really listened, and she did a terrific job. I'm delighted with the results. And I feel ten pounds lighter with all that mess hacked off. I think she swept up the makings of a small poodle from the floor. (And you wondered where those dogs come from, didn't you.)
I even got approvals from dh and ds.
I walked out smiling. And it occurred to me that I haven't really felt much like smiling lately. Even though things are looking up with MIL, I'm just so tired and stressed out that even when I do smile, it doesn't actually feel all that happy. But today I felt Happy.
I told the friend that sent me there that I was considering having my nails done too. How utterly shocking. I'm not a girly girl. I'm more like one of the guys. I rarely wear makeup, perfume, and haven't worn a dress in I don't know how long. I use my fingernails like tools. But for some reason, I have been craving having my nails done! Silly, I know. Why should a girl who doesn't dress up want to do her nails? I wonder if it's a hormone thing, lol. Maybe as I'm getting older, my girly side is getting bolder.
My friend asked the nail tech at the salon if they do artwork on nails. You see, I confessed that I want to have puzzle pieces painted on my nails. (Big surprise there, huh?) To my delight, they said it would be 'a piece of cake.' Yay!
Isn't this goofy? I've had one, count 'em, ONE manicure in my whole life. I haven't even worn nail polish in over a decade. And now, here I want to get acrylic nails, and have them painted with puzzle pieces. LOL! Somewhere there is a swine sprouting wings...
Maybe it's just that I need pampering. I need to feel like a girl again. I've spent too much time in cold, sterile environments and I need to feel and see something pretty, if only just my nails.
I can't believe I'm going to do this. It's so out of character. I may not be able to schedule it for a few weeks, but I will get it done in the near future. Maybe I'll even wear a little eye makeup tomorrow... (gasp!) ;)
I'm so glad I did. I usually have to cut my hair every 6-8 weeks, tops. It's been well past that point. My hair grows fast, and it's thick. And rather curly. (I know, my avatars don't always display that, but there aren't many grey hairstyles, and not many curly styles to choose from.)
I could only schedule an appointment during visiting hours, which was not ideal. But there was no getting around it if I wanted anything done in the near future.
Boy, did I need that. It was such a TREAT! The stylist was really good, and she really listened, and she did a terrific job. I'm delighted with the results. And I feel ten pounds lighter with all that mess hacked off. I think she swept up the makings of a small poodle from the floor. (And you wondered where those dogs come from, didn't you.)
I even got approvals from dh and ds.
I walked out smiling. And it occurred to me that I haven't really felt much like smiling lately. Even though things are looking up with MIL, I'm just so tired and stressed out that even when I do smile, it doesn't actually feel all that happy. But today I felt Happy.
I told the friend that sent me there that I was considering having my nails done too. How utterly shocking. I'm not a girly girl. I'm more like one of the guys. I rarely wear makeup, perfume, and haven't worn a dress in I don't know how long. I use my fingernails like tools. But for some reason, I have been craving having my nails done! Silly, I know. Why should a girl who doesn't dress up want to do her nails? I wonder if it's a hormone thing, lol. Maybe as I'm getting older, my girly side is getting bolder.
My friend asked the nail tech at the salon if they do artwork on nails. You see, I confessed that I want to have puzzle pieces painted on my nails. (Big surprise there, huh?) To my delight, they said it would be 'a piece of cake.' Yay!
Isn't this goofy? I've had one, count 'em, ONE manicure in my whole life. I haven't even worn nail polish in over a decade. And now, here I want to get acrylic nails, and have them painted with puzzle pieces. LOL! Somewhere there is a swine sprouting wings...
Maybe it's just that I need pampering. I need to feel like a girl again. I've spent too much time in cold, sterile environments and I need to feel and see something pretty, if only just my nails.
I can't believe I'm going to do this. It's so out of character. I may not be able to schedule it for a few weeks, but I will get it done in the near future. Maybe I'll even wear a little eye makeup tomorrow... (gasp!) ;)
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Giggles
Dh and I had been talking about how MIL was afraid of the dialysis, and believed that if they started that treatment that it would be the indication that this was 'the end.' No reassurances seemed to help, and she remained frightened and distraught. A friend suggested calling her church, and I thought that was a great idea. So I did.
When I arrived at the hospital, the pastor was there. My inlaws seemed really pleased to see him, and Dh's aunt and uncle was pleased too. He blessed her and said a prayer, and talked for quite a while. I hope it helped her find some peace.
She was really worn out, and wanted to rest after I left, so we were all hanging out in the waiting room. My MIL's ex-neighbor came to visit again. She's a nurse, and has been very helpful to us, and helpful to my MIL too. She was going to leave to watch her son's football practice, and asked if she could take ds with her. I jumped at the chance, because I think he's spent far too much time in the hospital, and needed a little diversion. Her football son is ds's age, and she has an older daughter and a younger son with her. Ds and the younger son, who shares his name, were having a blast. She said they'd be gone about an hour.
I was a nervous wreck, just turning him over to someone else, even for such a short amount of time. But I gave her my cell number, and let him go have fun. She has two adorable rambunctious boys, and she's a nurse, and I knew she could handle my son, even if things didn't go well.
Of course, I had nothing to fear. They returned about an hour later, all smiles. She commented on how my son just laughed the whole time. He was in a silly mood I guess, and laughed at anything they said to him. They all got laughing at that, and they were all in a fit of giggles. He has such a contagious laugh. It was so good to see. I was thrilled to see him get a brief respite from the quiet hospital lobby, and have some fun with other kids. It did my heart good, and I thanked the ex-neighbor for being so thoughtful.
And I got some sleep last night, too! So the day started badly, with lots of bad news, and MIL telling everyone she was going to die, but it really turned around at the end.
The day ended with sleep, and giggles, and more sleep.
When I arrived at the hospital, the pastor was there. My inlaws seemed really pleased to see him, and Dh's aunt and uncle was pleased too. He blessed her and said a prayer, and talked for quite a while. I hope it helped her find some peace.
She was really worn out, and wanted to rest after I left, so we were all hanging out in the waiting room. My MIL's ex-neighbor came to visit again. She's a nurse, and has been very helpful to us, and helpful to my MIL too. She was going to leave to watch her son's football practice, and asked if she could take ds with her. I jumped at the chance, because I think he's spent far too much time in the hospital, and needed a little diversion. Her football son is ds's age, and she has an older daughter and a younger son with her. Ds and the younger son, who shares his name, were having a blast. She said they'd be gone about an hour.
I was a nervous wreck, just turning him over to someone else, even for such a short amount of time. But I gave her my cell number, and let him go have fun. She has two adorable rambunctious boys, and she's a nurse, and I knew she could handle my son, even if things didn't go well.
Of course, I had nothing to fear. They returned about an hour later, all smiles. She commented on how my son just laughed the whole time. He was in a silly mood I guess, and laughed at anything they said to him. They all got laughing at that, and they were all in a fit of giggles. He has such a contagious laugh. It was so good to see. I was thrilled to see him get a brief respite from the quiet hospital lobby, and have some fun with other kids. It did my heart good, and I thanked the ex-neighbor for being so thoughtful.
And I got some sleep last night, too! So the day started badly, with lots of bad news, and MIL telling everyone she was going to die, but it really turned around at the end.
The day ended with sleep, and giggles, and more sleep.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
What Goes Up
Thankfully, the bad numbers are all starting to come down. Wonderful news! The white cell count has dropped dramatically. No, the numbers aren't even close to normal yet, but still, they are making significant drops. The kidney numbers are coming down as well. Dialysis is still not off the table, but at least there is improvement there as well. Blood sugar is down a bit too. All very good signs.
Her spirits are better, and they got her out of bed and into a chair (recliner) a couple times today. She looked so much better when sitting up. Ds got to come in for just a moment and wave to her through the glass. The nurse wasn't too happy about it, and we got a stern lecture, but I didn't really care. It made her happy, and it made ds happy, and it was just a quick peek in. Yes, I know all the reasons why the hospital doesn't want kids in there. The nurse was quick to explain them all to me. (After ds went back to the lobby.) I suppose I'm on the shxt list now. Wouldn't be the first time.
Well, I better get some sleep. The family again told the hospital staff to call dh if MIL wants company in the middle of the night. That's ten straight nights. Plus ten straight mornings that he's also had to be at the hospital for the first early visit of the day.
I need sleep.
Her spirits are better, and they got her out of bed and into a chair (recliner) a couple times today. She looked so much better when sitting up. Ds got to come in for just a moment and wave to her through the glass. The nurse wasn't too happy about it, and we got a stern lecture, but I didn't really care. It made her happy, and it made ds happy, and it was just a quick peek in. Yes, I know all the reasons why the hospital doesn't want kids in there. The nurse was quick to explain them all to me. (After ds went back to the lobby.) I suppose I'm on the shxt list now. Wouldn't be the first time.
Well, I better get some sleep. The family again told the hospital staff to call dh if MIL wants company in the middle of the night. That's ten straight nights. Plus ten straight mornings that he's also had to be at the hospital for the first early visit of the day.
I need sleep.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Dennis Leary on Autism
LEARY ANGERS AUTISM ACTIVISTS
from UK's Daily Express at http://ping.fm/z1jNG
Wednesday October 15,2008
Actor DENIS LEARY has sparked outrage among activists for children with autism - insisting parents are just using the disorder to explain their kids' academic "laziness".
Leary talks about the brain development disorder in his new book Why We Suck: A Feel-Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid.
He writes: "There is a huge boom in autism right now because inattentive mothers and competitive dads want an explanation for why their dumb-ass kids can't compete academically, so they throw money into the happy laps of shrinks... to get back diagnoses that help explain away the deficiencies of their junior morons. I don't (care) what these crackerjack whack jobs tell you - your kid is NOT autistic. He's just stupid. Or lazy. Or both."
But the actor's comments have sparked outrage at The Autism Society of America.
A spokesperson for the group tells the New York Post: "For Mr. Leary to suggest that families or doctors conspire to falsely diagnose autism is ridiculous... (His) remarks reflect the same misconceptions of autism being caused by bad or unemotional parenting that were held over 50 years ago."
from UK's Daily Express at http://ping.fm/z1jNG
Wednesday October 15,2008
Actor DENIS LEARY has sparked outrage among activists for children with autism - insisting parents are just using the disorder to explain their kids' academic "laziness".
Leary talks about the brain development disorder in his new book Why We Suck: A Feel-Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid.
He writes: "There is a huge boom in autism right now because inattentive mothers and competitive dads want an explanation for why their dumb-ass kids can't compete academically, so they throw money into the happy laps of shrinks... to get back diagnoses that help explain away the deficiencies of their junior morons. I don't (care) what these crackerjack whack jobs tell you - your kid is NOT autistic. He's just stupid. Or lazy. Or both."
But the actor's comments have sparked outrage at The Autism Society of America.
A spokesperson for the group tells the New York Post: "For Mr. Leary to suggest that families or doctors conspire to falsely diagnose autism is ridiculous... (His) remarks reflect the same misconceptions of autism being caused by bad or unemotional parenting that were held over 50 years ago."
Firecracker
My MIL was a little better last night. To us, it looked like a lot better, but medically, not a whole lot different. But it's hard not to be excited when she is sitting up a little bit, and talking a lot, and being much more coherent. She also didn't doze off every few minutes like before.
Medically, the numbers have barely changed. But that doesn't mean there aren't positive signs. Her kidneys are outputing a little more, and the color is not as dark. They don't seem to be functioning like they should, but this could be a sign that things are starting to turn around. Time will tell. She is not getting sick on the antibiotics (up or down), so that's gotta help. They've been giving her breathing treatments, so her labored breathing is much improved (though that's not really an indication that the infectious colitis, the c. diff., or the failing kidneys are improving). They have to give her insulin because her blood sugar is quite high, but they think that will be temporary.
Sadly, we haven't heard that any of the bad numbers are coming down yet. The white cells, the kidney function, etc, all the scary stuff, doesn't seem to change much. However, the good signs may be an indication that the meds are starting to have an effect. We're hopeful.
But it was great to see her chatting again, and being really feisty. She was even trying to play matchmaker for her young and pretty nurse, lol.
She told dh that she thought she was going to die. She dreamt that my FIL (who is very handy and crafty) was carving her tombstone. Eek.
After her first bout of physical therapy, she commented that the two male PTs tossed her around "like a corpse in a morgue." (We'll have no more talk like that thank you very much!) Oh, and she also commented on her assumptions about their, um, sexual preferences. Iyiyi.
She was funny. Her wit has returned. We all got a big laugh out of some of the remarks she was making. She's a real firecracker. It felt wonderful to hear her talk like her old self again. It's hard to imagine that she could not be improving medically when we see so much improvement in her manner.
I'm really hoping for some good news from the docs now. And the hope doesn't seem so farfetched.
Medically, the numbers have barely changed. But that doesn't mean there aren't positive signs. Her kidneys are outputing a little more, and the color is not as dark. They don't seem to be functioning like they should, but this could be a sign that things are starting to turn around. Time will tell. She is not getting sick on the antibiotics (up or down), so that's gotta help. They've been giving her breathing treatments, so her labored breathing is much improved (though that's not really an indication that the infectious colitis, the c. diff., or the failing kidneys are improving). They have to give her insulin because her blood sugar is quite high, but they think that will be temporary.
Sadly, we haven't heard that any of the bad numbers are coming down yet. The white cells, the kidney function, etc, all the scary stuff, doesn't seem to change much. However, the good signs may be an indication that the meds are starting to have an effect. We're hopeful.
But it was great to see her chatting again, and being really feisty. She was even trying to play matchmaker for her young and pretty nurse, lol.
She told dh that she thought she was going to die. She dreamt that my FIL (who is very handy and crafty) was carving her tombstone. Eek.
After her first bout of physical therapy, she commented that the two male PTs tossed her around "like a corpse in a morgue." (We'll have no more talk like that thank you very much!) Oh, and she also commented on her assumptions about their, um, sexual preferences. Iyiyi.
She was funny. Her wit has returned. We all got a big laugh out of some of the remarks she was making. She's a real firecracker. It felt wonderful to hear her talk like her old self again. It's hard to imagine that she could not be improving medically when we see so much improvement in her manner.
I'm really hoping for some good news from the docs now. And the hope doesn't seem so farfetched.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
In the Thick of It
Last night was not a good night. Upon arriving at the hospital, I found out my MIL had not only shown no signs of improvement, but had some slight signs of worsening. Nothing real severe, yet. But while her kidneys are producing fluid, they are not really filtering as they need to. And this is having negative effects on the rest of her system. You know, if the kidneys are happy, the rest of the body ain't happy.
I had the feeling in visiting with her last night that she didn't really recognize me. Now this is probably the meds, I know. But it's disheartening. We've been wanting to see improvement.
In the morning yesterday, when the family was meeting with the doctors, my BIL asked if my MIL was out of the woods yet. At that time, there were slight improvements. Nothing huge, but hey, we'll take any positive news we can get, right? But the doctor was quick to shut him down. He said, "She's not out of the woods yet. In fact, she's in the thick of it." It was a very sobering statement.
It was after that that we started to hear bad news. The kidneys weren't filtering. Their output was darkening in color, which wasn't good. The white cells have not changed, have not decreased.
We had hoped by now there should be some significant upturns. The meds should be kicking in here. I realize that for the first couple days she couldn't keep the meds down, so we've been trying to be patient, but we really hoped by now there would be some good news.
Dh went back to the hospital late last night. I stayed home with ds, who was unusually exhausted. Dh said that he heard some positive things. The white cell count had dropped very slightly! Nothing to get excited about yet, but we can be hopeful here. The kidney's output was not as dark as earlier. Another good sign, but nothing too significant at this point either. We have our fingers crossed. Could the meds be kicking into gear?
Too soon to tell yet. And too small of an improvement to really indicate anything.
But we're hoping.
I had the feeling in visiting with her last night that she didn't really recognize me. Now this is probably the meds, I know. But it's disheartening. We've been wanting to see improvement.
In the morning yesterday, when the family was meeting with the doctors, my BIL asked if my MIL was out of the woods yet. At that time, there were slight improvements. Nothing huge, but hey, we'll take any positive news we can get, right? But the doctor was quick to shut him down. He said, "She's not out of the woods yet. In fact, she's in the thick of it." It was a very sobering statement.
It was after that that we started to hear bad news. The kidneys weren't filtering. Their output was darkening in color, which wasn't good. The white cells have not changed, have not decreased.
We had hoped by now there should be some significant upturns. The meds should be kicking in here. I realize that for the first couple days she couldn't keep the meds down, so we've been trying to be patient, but we really hoped by now there would be some good news.
Dh went back to the hospital late last night. I stayed home with ds, who was unusually exhausted. Dh said that he heard some positive things. The white cell count had dropped very slightly! Nothing to get excited about yet, but we can be hopeful here. The kidney's output was not as dark as earlier. Another good sign, but nothing too significant at this point either. We have our fingers crossed. Could the meds be kicking into gear?
Too soon to tell yet. And too small of an improvement to really indicate anything.
But we're hoping.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Long Night
The hospital just called. That was the second call we've gotten since just before midnight. It's about 2:45 now.
My mil is in the critical care unit. Her blood pressure was dropping. The call just now was the surgeon. He said something about colitis, and that they were pumping her full of fluids, but that this could possibly fill up her lungs but they have to do it to save her life. She'd be put on a respirator if that were to happen. They are worried that the colon could rupture, and that's when they'd have to do surgury, they would have to take out and remove a portion of her colon, and this would be heavy duty surgery. She's not in the best condition for this, considering her age and her advanced dehydration.
I don't know if I have all that straight. It's hard to get woken up in the middle of the night and listen to a barrage of medical terms. And I'm getting it second hand from dh, who is equally sleepy.
We've already called in the siblings, and they are expected to be here sometime in the morning. They're coming in from out of state. Everyone is very worried, very afraid.
Dh called the hospital back just now, to see if he should go down there. My fil is on his way. (We called him too.) The hospital nurse was standing beside my mil, and said that it was up to him, whether or not he come down there, but also added that my mil was pretty scared, and it would probably make her feel better if he did. He'll leave shortly.
Man, I hate this hate this hate this. I mean, I know nobody doesn't hate it, but I also hate the memories this stirs in me. Memories of my own parents, of my mother's battle with cancer. The late night phone calls. The siblings keeping each other posted. The waiting, the hoping, the fear. Emergency surgeries. The doctor's slam of too much information. The glazed expressions. The deer in the headlight eyes. So now I know much more than I want to know. I also know what it's like if things don't go well.
Have I every told you about my mil? I love my mil. I know, I know. Doesn't fit the cliche. But I do. She ended up being like another mother to me. And she's cool. She's not like the stereotypical mother in law. She's been a friend, too.
My mil is also into crafts! It's been such a treat for me. There wasn't anyone in my immediate family who was into crafts. My own mother was very supportive, but she didn't really understand it, didn't know what I was doing, wasn't really into it, other than to enjoy the fruits of my labors, and to be glad for the way it kept me busy. (We didn't have Gameboys or Wiis when I was a kid, so you couldn't just "plug us in," so to speak.) But I was so into crafts. I was teaching myself to knit when I was less than 8 years old. And I'm good at it, too. Very good. At all the crafts I do. So is my mil. And that's really neat to be able to have someone not only understand my love of crafts, but be able to share in it with me too.
And like my own mother, my mil is the glue that holds this family together. I don't know what will happen to this family if she isn't around to keep us united.
And my ds loves his grandparents. His grandmother is his oasis. Whenever there's been trouble at school, he has always been able to come to grandma for that unconditional love that only grandmas can give. I can't tell you how much we BOTH need that.
We all need her. We all love her. She's just got to pull through this.
Dh is gone now. He left a few minutes ago. And I'm here wallowing in my shadows of the past, and battling my fears of the present.
God's probably tired of hearing me pray by now, lol.
My mil is in the critical care unit. Her blood pressure was dropping. The call just now was the surgeon. He said something about colitis, and that they were pumping her full of fluids, but that this could possibly fill up her lungs but they have to do it to save her life. She'd be put on a respirator if that were to happen. They are worried that the colon could rupture, and that's when they'd have to do surgury, they would have to take out and remove a portion of her colon, and this would be heavy duty surgery. She's not in the best condition for this, considering her age and her advanced dehydration.
I don't know if I have all that straight. It's hard to get woken up in the middle of the night and listen to a barrage of medical terms. And I'm getting it second hand from dh, who is equally sleepy.
We've already called in the siblings, and they are expected to be here sometime in the morning. They're coming in from out of state. Everyone is very worried, very afraid.
Dh called the hospital back just now, to see if he should go down there. My fil is on his way. (We called him too.) The hospital nurse was standing beside my mil, and said that it was up to him, whether or not he come down there, but also added that my mil was pretty scared, and it would probably make her feel better if he did. He'll leave shortly.
Man, I hate this hate this hate this. I mean, I know nobody doesn't hate it, but I also hate the memories this stirs in me. Memories of my own parents, of my mother's battle with cancer. The late night phone calls. The siblings keeping each other posted. The waiting, the hoping, the fear. Emergency surgeries. The doctor's slam of too much information. The glazed expressions. The deer in the headlight eyes. So now I know much more than I want to know. I also know what it's like if things don't go well.
Have I every told you about my mil? I love my mil. I know, I know. Doesn't fit the cliche. But I do. She ended up being like another mother to me. And she's cool. She's not like the stereotypical mother in law. She's been a friend, too.
My mil is also into crafts! It's been such a treat for me. There wasn't anyone in my immediate family who was into crafts. My own mother was very supportive, but she didn't really understand it, didn't know what I was doing, wasn't really into it, other than to enjoy the fruits of my labors, and to be glad for the way it kept me busy. (We didn't have Gameboys or Wiis when I was a kid, so you couldn't just "plug us in," so to speak.) But I was so into crafts. I was teaching myself to knit when I was less than 8 years old. And I'm good at it, too. Very good. At all the crafts I do. So is my mil. And that's really neat to be able to have someone not only understand my love of crafts, but be able to share in it with me too.
And like my own mother, my mil is the glue that holds this family together. I don't know what will happen to this family if she isn't around to keep us united.
And my ds loves his grandparents. His grandmother is his oasis. Whenever there's been trouble at school, he has always been able to come to grandma for that unconditional love that only grandmas can give. I can't tell you how much we BOTH need that.
We all need her. We all love her. She's just got to pull through this.
Dh is gone now. He left a few minutes ago. And I'm here wallowing in my shadows of the past, and battling my fears of the present.
God's probably tired of hearing me pray by now, lol.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Scary
Yesterday I came home from work to find out my MIL was rushed to the hospital.
She had been ill for a while. They had her on antibiotics for an infection, bladder I believe, but she had an allergic reaction to the antibiotics. It was not pleasant. Then they started her on a different antibiotic. And that made her sick to her stomach.
She didn't feel good when she watched ds this week. She had some diarrhea and just feel lousy. But she said she felt up to watching him at the time. She was going to call her doctor later that day. But she didn't do it.
When I picked up ds, my mil was still sitting in the same chair as when I left, with a blanket, and looked like she hadn't moved. She didn't look better, like she told me she did on the phone. I told her I'd take her to a doctor. I offered to take her to the emergency care clinic. I also offered to get her some acidophilus or yogurt. She told me she had a bunch of yogurt in the fridge, but she stopped eating it because she thought maybe that's what had given her the runs. I thought that was unlikely and told her so. I encouraged her to eat that yogurt, and lots of it.
The next day, dh asked her if she called her doctor. Nope. She had an appointment on Thursday. She'd just wait until then. I told dh, "you know what'll happen, don't you? She'll go for that appointment, and the doc will tell her she's dehydrated and throw her in the hospital. You can't be that sick for that long and not get dehydrated!" He thought I was probably right.
Well, she never got to that appointment. She was so sick Wednesday night. My fil finally tried to get her to get in the car so he could take her to the emergency room, but she was too weak to walk to the car. (It was only about 15 feet or so to the car.) That's when they called the ambulance.
We all jumped in the car and went to the hospital to meet them. My fil didn't seem to know much about what was going on, except that she was on an IV. He thought maybe she'd go home Friday. I was more than skeptical. I thought that sounded crazy. We started to figure out that my fil had no clue what was happening because he couldn't hear what was going on. He's nearly deaf. He couldn't even carry on a phone conversation with dh, because he can't hear the darn thing.
This wasn't working at all. Nobody knew anything. We couldn't even find out what was wrong, other than the fact that the antibiotics weren't agreeing with her. Dh and I started looking for charts or anything with info on it. There was mention of her being on antibiotics and pain meds, and the fact that she was on a heart heathly diet. That was about it. I noted that she was in a private room, and thought it odd, but then again, maybe they'd be moving someone else in before the night was through.
Then a nurse came in the room. My mil couldn't even prop herself up to eat, she had to be lifted up the bed and propped in place. (Geez, if she's this weak that she not only can't walk, but she can hardly feed herself, they better not be sending her home the next day like fil thinks.) The nurse said something about doing an ultrasound on her tomorrow, and my mil asked, "Won't I be going home tomorrow?" The nurse looked at her with a shocked expression. Tomorrow?? Oh no.
Then she turned to us and said, "When you come back tomorrow, look for an orange tag on the door. If you see that, then you'll have to suit up in gowns before coming in." Huh?? Gowns? "Well of course it will depend on how the tests come back, but it's pretty likely that you'll have to gown up."
I quickly asked, "What are the tests for?" Wasn't she just having some bad reaction to the meds?
That's when she told us that they were testing her for c. diff. Oh no. I've heard of that, and it can be pretty nasty. Fatal even, if you get it bad enough, I thought. She also said she was being tested for MRSA. Holy smokes. I knew that was a staph infection, and can also be fatal. Especially dangerous for the elderly, right? I looked at dh, but I could tell by the confused look that he had no idea what either one was. I knew this was very serious. And contagious. And my son was in the room!!
The nurse gave us all instructions on washing up before leaving, and showed us where the Purell was. (Antibacterial stuff.) I have one thought on my mind at that point, and that was that my son had a bout of diarrhea last night. At the time, I had attributed it to the fact that we had Chinese take out for dinner, and maybe it was a little exotic for his tummy. But now...??
We got home and I pulled out the acidophilus and had us all take some. I also put Purell in the bathroom and by the kitchen counter, near where we come in the house. We were all sufficently disinfected. I hope.
None of us had any direct contact with my mil, except my fil. So I was feeling a little more at ease. After all, ds hadn't had any diarrhea since the night before, and it was probably just something he ate. Dh had an little upset stomach after eating too. What were the chances huh?
But in the back of my mind, I couldn't shade the worry that ds had spent all day Tuesday at Grandma's. But I was being paranoid, right?
In the middle of the night, ds woke us up by running into the bathroom. Again and again. Omg. Tell me he hasn't caught this!
I was on the phone to the doctor first thing this morning. I explained the situation, and the symptoms. The nurse was very understanding. I said that I didn't mean to come off as paranoid, but with the stuff with my mil, I just would rather err on the side of caution, you know?
The doctor was pretty cool about the whole thing. He's taking a let's take this slow approach. Since ds is not feverish, and he's doing pretty well otherwise, we're just going to watch this for a few days. I have a number to call at any time, if he takes a turn for the worse. He'll run tests on him Monday, if he isn't better. (Sooner if he worsens.)
I felt a little better after hearing that. They gave me practical advice for treating him in the meantime (bananas, yogurt, etc). And I felt like I wasn't being so crazy after all. They were all concerned too, but optimistic about how ds is feeling currently.
My mil hasn't been doing so well, however. The meds have her a little out of it. She was slurring to me, and pronouncing words funny ("annabios" instead of antibiotics). Very weak, very tired. Oh, and the meds make her very nauseous. That wasn't pleasant either. Poor dear.
The nurses said that it will take a few days for the meds to really kick in. Okay, so that gives us a timeline. We'll be looking for some sign of improvement by Monday morning, at the latest. I hope it will be sooner. I don't want her released. I want her in there and being taken care of. But I do want to see some real improvement, and SOON.
She had been ill for a while. They had her on antibiotics for an infection, bladder I believe, but she had an allergic reaction to the antibiotics. It was not pleasant. Then they started her on a different antibiotic. And that made her sick to her stomach.
She didn't feel good when she watched ds this week. She had some diarrhea and just feel lousy. But she said she felt up to watching him at the time. She was going to call her doctor later that day. But she didn't do it.
When I picked up ds, my mil was still sitting in the same chair as when I left, with a blanket, and looked like she hadn't moved. She didn't look better, like she told me she did on the phone. I told her I'd take her to a doctor. I offered to take her to the emergency care clinic. I also offered to get her some acidophilus or yogurt. She told me she had a bunch of yogurt in the fridge, but she stopped eating it because she thought maybe that's what had given her the runs. I thought that was unlikely and told her so. I encouraged her to eat that yogurt, and lots of it.
The next day, dh asked her if she called her doctor. Nope. She had an appointment on Thursday. She'd just wait until then. I told dh, "you know what'll happen, don't you? She'll go for that appointment, and the doc will tell her she's dehydrated and throw her in the hospital. You can't be that sick for that long and not get dehydrated!" He thought I was probably right.
Well, she never got to that appointment. She was so sick Wednesday night. My fil finally tried to get her to get in the car so he could take her to the emergency room, but she was too weak to walk to the car. (It was only about 15 feet or so to the car.) That's when they called the ambulance.
We all jumped in the car and went to the hospital to meet them. My fil didn't seem to know much about what was going on, except that she was on an IV. He thought maybe she'd go home Friday. I was more than skeptical. I thought that sounded crazy. We started to figure out that my fil had no clue what was happening because he couldn't hear what was going on. He's nearly deaf. He couldn't even carry on a phone conversation with dh, because he can't hear the darn thing.
This wasn't working at all. Nobody knew anything. We couldn't even find out what was wrong, other than the fact that the antibiotics weren't agreeing with her. Dh and I started looking for charts or anything with info on it. There was mention of her being on antibiotics and pain meds, and the fact that she was on a heart heathly diet. That was about it. I noted that she was in a private room, and thought it odd, but then again, maybe they'd be moving someone else in before the night was through.
Then a nurse came in the room. My mil couldn't even prop herself up to eat, she had to be lifted up the bed and propped in place. (Geez, if she's this weak that she not only can't walk, but she can hardly feed herself, they better not be sending her home the next day like fil thinks.) The nurse said something about doing an ultrasound on her tomorrow, and my mil asked, "Won't I be going home tomorrow?" The nurse looked at her with a shocked expression. Tomorrow?? Oh no.
Then she turned to us and said, "When you come back tomorrow, look for an orange tag on the door. If you see that, then you'll have to suit up in gowns before coming in." Huh?? Gowns? "Well of course it will depend on how the tests come back, but it's pretty likely that you'll have to gown up."
I quickly asked, "What are the tests for?" Wasn't she just having some bad reaction to the meds?
That's when she told us that they were testing her for c. diff. Oh no. I've heard of that, and it can be pretty nasty. Fatal even, if you get it bad enough, I thought. She also said she was being tested for MRSA. Holy smokes. I knew that was a staph infection, and can also be fatal. Especially dangerous for the elderly, right? I looked at dh, but I could tell by the confused look that he had no idea what either one was. I knew this was very serious. And contagious. And my son was in the room!!
The nurse gave us all instructions on washing up before leaving, and showed us where the Purell was. (Antibacterial stuff.) I have one thought on my mind at that point, and that was that my son had a bout of diarrhea last night. At the time, I had attributed it to the fact that we had Chinese take out for dinner, and maybe it was a little exotic for his tummy. But now...??
We got home and I pulled out the acidophilus and had us all take some. I also put Purell in the bathroom and by the kitchen counter, near where we come in the house. We were all sufficently disinfected. I hope.
None of us had any direct contact with my mil, except my fil. So I was feeling a little more at ease. After all, ds hadn't had any diarrhea since the night before, and it was probably just something he ate. Dh had an little upset stomach after eating too. What were the chances huh?
But in the back of my mind, I couldn't shade the worry that ds had spent all day Tuesday at Grandma's. But I was being paranoid, right?
In the middle of the night, ds woke us up by running into the bathroom. Again and again. Omg. Tell me he hasn't caught this!
I was on the phone to the doctor first thing this morning. I explained the situation, and the symptoms. The nurse was very understanding. I said that I didn't mean to come off as paranoid, but with the stuff with my mil, I just would rather err on the side of caution, you know?
The doctor was pretty cool about the whole thing. He's taking a let's take this slow approach. Since ds is not feverish, and he's doing pretty well otherwise, we're just going to watch this for a few days. I have a number to call at any time, if he takes a turn for the worse. He'll run tests on him Monday, if he isn't better. (Sooner if he worsens.)
I felt a little better after hearing that. They gave me practical advice for treating him in the meantime (bananas, yogurt, etc). And I felt like I wasn't being so crazy after all. They were all concerned too, but optimistic about how ds is feeling currently.
My mil hasn't been doing so well, however. The meds have her a little out of it. She was slurring to me, and pronouncing words funny ("annabios" instead of antibiotics). Very weak, very tired. Oh, and the meds make her very nauseous. That wasn't pleasant either. Poor dear.
The nurses said that it will take a few days for the meds to really kick in. Okay, so that gives us a timeline. We'll be looking for some sign of improvement by Monday morning, at the latest. I hope it will be sooner. I don't want her released. I want her in there and being taken care of. But I do want to see some real improvement, and SOON.
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