Did I tell you about Nathan's daycare?
I took him there for one of his school holidays. It's the same company that cares for him in after-school care, but this was at a different, larger location, with a lot more kids. They called me up at work to tell me Nathan was having a meltdown, and was hitting at the caregivers. We were to pick him up within a half hour. I told them dh was on his way.
Afterwards, dh tells me that Nathan had been playing with Legos, and a kid tried to rip one out of his hands. Nathan hung on, and the kid started to fight him for it. They sent both boys to timeout. Nathan refused to go. So they grabbed him, and tried to drag him. And Nathan flipped out.
Dh was irritated and told him that with his autism, he can't handle being grabbed. They said I never told them he had autism when I dropped him off! (WTF???) Dh argued that Nathan had been going there for YEARS, and we had filled out all kinds of medical history and stuff, and they said it didn't matter, that I need to tell them every time I drop him off that he has autism! They also said they weren't about to read every medical record for every kid at that daycare.
Oh, give me a frigging break!
(I'm thanking my lucky stars that Nathan doesn't have a severe food allergy, or the consequences could be deadly...)
When I dropped Nathan off that morning, I was wearing my "I love someone with autism" lanyard, and my THREE autism awareness bracelets. Even if they had missed that walking billboard, there were people at the daycare that work with Nathan every day at after-school care! At one point, when I was dropping Nathan off, he was standing there looking lost, and I was suggesting things that they had left out for the kids to play with, trying to get him engaged in something before I left for work. Nathan didn't seem interested in anything out. Then one of the caregivers jumps up and says, "I know what he's looking for! He loves the Legos!" and then scampered off to find the precious Legos for Nathan. This was one of the caregivers from his after-school care program.
I guess they can remember that Nathan loves Legos, but forget that he has autism. Go figure.
Oh, and school has been frustrating again. Big surprise.
First thing that irritated me at school is the fact that they are trying to stop me from tape recording the IEP meetings. (Hm. Why?) I'm going to tell them I'm taping the next meeting, in advance. The next meeting is the IEP and his parent/teacher conference combined. Dh won't be there, so I need to tape it for him. We'll see if they have a problem with it again. I have been checking into the legality of prohibiting me from taping. I have found some interesting information.
Then, Nathan was sick last week. I kept him home for three days, with a very high fever. The first day I kept him home was the same day the behavior specialist was supposed to go observe him. Rats. I've been trying to get this scheduled for months, but something always goes wrong! Anyway, I wrote the teacher to inform her that the behavior specialist was aware that Nathan was sick, and would be rescheduling, probably the following week. The teacher refused to allow it until after March 17th, because of the ISAT tests! Oh for crying out loud. All the woman wants to do is observe him in his academic environment. She doesn't want to interfere. But they tell me it's against ISAT regulations. I can't find it in the ISAT regulations, but they insist it is. I suspect I could push it, and demand that they show me exactly where it says that I can't have a behavior expert observe him during the testing days, but I suppose it really isn't worth pressing. For one, it may be an actual regulation, and I just haven't found it yet. For two, I'm not even sure the specialist would want to observe him during the testing period. It's not exactly a regular ol' day. Maybe it's better to wait.
On the other hand, why are they not as anxious for this specialist to observe as I am??? I feel like they don't want her to come. Sigh. Don't they realize I'm trying to HELP this situation? Don't they want someone to help improve his behavior?
Shoot.
And then Nathan had a rough day on Friday. Go figure. He's still struggling with the flu. He felt like crap. And I'm sure they were really patient and understanding because of that. (cough cough).
The teacher called me up at work, and told me he was refusing to behave, he wouldn't go to lunch, he wouldn't go outside, he was angry, etc. Great. I asked if I could speak to him. She refused at first, because she was not about to give him her cell phone. (He had tried to throw it during a previous meltdown, so she wasn't going to make THAT mistake again.) Geez. So I guess the only reason she was calling me at all, then, was to have me come and get him. Then the teacher suggested bringing him to the office, and having me talk to him there on a regular phone. FINALLY! A compromise!
I talked to Nathan for a while, and got him to calm down somewhat. He told me right off that his stomach hurt, so I got the school to give him some kiddie Malox that I had previously sent to the school. He also told me a mean kid had been knocking him down on the playground and running away (and he didn't know who the kid was), and he was NOT going outside! PERIOD! I explained that this was not an option, since it is against the law (and unsafe) for the school to let him sit inside alone while everyone else went outside, and I assured him that I would tell the grownups at the school about the bully, and asked him to hang around by grownups at recess. He accepted that. Protected from the bully, medicine for the tummy ache: Problems All Solved.
So we conquered all of the obstacles that the school couldn't seem to overcome. And did it in 5 minutes or so. I didn't even do anything special or tricky. Too bad the school couldn't have done the same thing. But that would take putting aside your anger at his defiance, and try some patience to find out what's behind the opposition. I guess that's asking too much.
Nathan went to lunch, and then went outside like he was supposed to. He got through the rest of the day without any further meltdowns, though he didn't really do any work, either. It pretty much takes all his energy not to get upset, when he's that wrung out. But he listens, and he still soaks up more education than you'd guess. I doubt they realize that though.
I wish I knew how to help him.
No comments:
Post a Comment