Good Days

I received a bunch of emails from the school this week.

First, I received a return email from Nathan's case manager. I had received a previous email, telling me that Nathan had had a meltdown, but no real details. Nathan could give me no details at all about the incident. So I requested more details. Turns out, the case manager's account was far different from Nathan's recollections. She indicated that he had been throwing things at people. They were not large or dangerous, but still very inappropriate. Nathan didn't recall throwing anything at all! He didn't seem to be lying, but rather, he seemed to be clueless about why anyone would think he was mad! I'm not sure which is worse. He did not recall being angry, or having any kind of tantrum-like behavior. Okay, so maybe he was frustrated. But still, he usually understands that aggressive acts (such as throwing things) are basically equated with anger. It concerns me that he didn't seem to make the connection. I don't suspect the case manager's account at all. In fact, her descriptions of the events made sense, where Nathan's didn't. It was not a full blown meltdown. At least there was no restraint. None this week at all. And, with the added details from the case manager, I now have something else to watch out for or be aware of. This differing perception has the potential to be of major importance.

Next I heard from the school principal. She sent me a written notification about Nathan's August 29th restraint! A first! Okay, so she didn't send the second notification yet, for the September 5th incident, but I did request it. She asked when she can call me to discuss Nathan's work. I told her she can call me at any time, and gave her my contact info. She said that they really want Nathan to have a successful year. Yes, me too!

I heard from the new supervisor of special ed for his school. I had written her and asked how to get ahold of the Autism Team. She first wrote and told me that she had seen the list, and my son was on it, but she didn't know when the A Team was coming. Later she wrote back and told me they hoped to stop by on Friday. Excellent news!

I received emails from Nathan's teacher. She said Nathan had good days, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday!! YAHOO!! She also told me she is beginning to see a pattern in his behavior, where he has meltdowns on Monday and Tuesday, and "the rest of the week is enjoyable." Wow, a teacher just referred to my son as enjoyable! And she's noticing patterns in his behavior! And she's working on building his trust, and encouraging his communication! Good news, good news, good news!! She has been in daily contact with us since the start of school. I didn't think they made teachers like this. I'm starting to see some real hope here!!

I also received an email from the teacher regarding the Autism Team. They not only came on Friday, but they did Autism Sensitivity Training for the class. They met with the teacher and the para (aide). They did an evaluation, praising some of their actions, and having suggestions for improvement. They are also looking into the teacher's observations about Nathan's pattern of having difficulties on Monday and Tuesday, and will brainstorm about ways to ease his transition between weekends and the school week. I asked her to forward the A Team's report to me when they gave it to her. I was really disappointed that I couldn't be there to see the sensitivity training, and what it consisted of. Nathan wasn't in the room either. He was with the speech therapist. Oh well. I'm thrilled they did it, and that they are helping the teacher and para. That's a big relief. I'm hoping this helps to reduce the number of meltdowns. (Hey, I can hope, can't I?)

The teacher is also using a visual timer now. Oh, that's good! Nathan responds very well to visual representations of time. He loves knowing how much time is left, and he mentally prepares himself for the transition when he can see the time coming to a close. We have an hourglass egg timer at home (it's about 3 minutes), and it has been the best thing we ever bought. Any time he whines when I try to get him to stop one thing and do another, I can flip that timer, and tell him, "okay, a few more minutes," and when that timer runs down, he's ready to go. It's like a magic wand to me, lol. And far easier than a meltdown, or an hour of foot-dragging. I hope the teacher finds her timer to be just as useful.

So the week was off to a very rocky start. But in the end, it really turned around! I really like this teacher, and every time I talk to her, she seems to be working so hard to help Nathan, and so willing to listen, and very good about telling us everything. She seems to be very perceptive, and discovered early on how important it is to Nathan to have someone really take the time to listen to him. No teacher has ever figured that out before, even after I've tried to explain it. So Nathan is trusting her more, and starting to lose some of his defensiveness about the school. He actually LIKES school now! He said it's "WAY better than last year!" Oh thank God!

It has gone wonderfully so far, with Nathan taking the bus. And since he looks forward to school, he is getting up easily, getting ready with more independence, and is usually out the door with plenty of time to spare! I've never had this before! I LIKE THIS!!! Last year, my company allowed me to change my work schedule and come in 15 minutes late every day, and make up for it with a 45 minute lunch "hour." It was very nice of them, and I appreciated it. And I have been so delighted that I don't have to do this anymore!! I arrive at work EARLY now! I love it! And so far, I haven't missed any work due to meltdowns. Also excellent news.

I am feeling hopeful again.