IEP Hell

Where do I begin?

School has been a nightmare.

Nathan got upset in class, just before spring break, and they restrained him and removed him from the room. He came home with bruises after that. I reported it to the principal. She said she would report it to DCFS, but then called back to tell me that DCFS would not be investigating because the principal reported that she was not convinced that the bruises were the result of the restraint because the teachers who restrained him held his upper arms, not his forearms where the bruises were. I insisted that I want no more restraint used on my son, but the principal dismissed this. She asked, “Just what do you propose we do when he is throwing furniture, pens and scissors?” (Oh I don't know. How about diffusing the situation before it gets that bad?) She also said they can’t just remove it from the IEP, and would have to call an IEP meeting. I asked why they couldn’t remove it from the IEP, since they just slipped it into a revision of the IEP without ever discussing it in the meeting. The principal says she wasn’t aware of the fact that restraint was just added into the IEP without discussion.

I then asked if they had started to do an FBA. I was told in February that they wanted to do one, and would call in a psychologist to do it, but they could not seem to find a psychologist. I asked about it again in March, but it had not been done. The principal told me she didn’t know if an FBA had been done, but she would have the special ed teacher call me. That call never came.

Another funny thing. The school called me the day he got upset in class, and said he wouldn't take his ISAT test. I told them I couldn't come get him because I had just walked in the door from the eye doctor, and I couldn't see to drive (I had to get a ride from my father-in-law). I could have gotten my husband to go get him. They assured me that my son had NOT had a meltdown, that they just wanted to let me know that he wouldn't take the test. No need to come get him. All was fine. This was just an FYI. Then we find the buises later. My son tells me he had a meltdown, and how they had to remove him from class. Interesting. So the school lied. Remember, they admitted to me they restrained him, but they would only admit to holding his upper arms which were buise-less, and not his lower arms. We must be lying. But wait. They lied to me about my son not having a meltdown. Then they admit he did have a meltdown and they restrained him AFTER I find the bruises, but they discourage DCFS from investigating because we must be lying about how the bruises got there. Ironic, huh?


Then I received a phone message, informing me that they are doing another IEP meeting April 11th. I didn't get home from work until 11:00pm, to find this cryptic message, telling me that there were going to be two other people invited and their names listed. I had no idea who they were, what the purpose of the meeting was, whether or not an FBA had been done, and I was given only a week's notice. A week??? Two co-workers have left our department, so we are down two people, and I have been thrust into the senior customer service position. We were short handed, I'm in the middle of training for this new position and new responsiblities, and they want me to get off work now?? How the heck am I going to swing that?


I was also informed that my son has not been doing any school work. He just won’t do anything. They also said they are afraid to make him do anything, because they are afraid to get him mad. They said he also keeps telling them that he hates school, and hates homework.


Up until Christmas, my son loved school, and eagerly completed his assignments. He would actually be upset about school holidays, because he wanted to go to school. Now he absolutely hates it.


Sheesh. Well, I tried to get off of work, and it was impossible. There is just no one to cover for me. I called the special ed teacher and left a message asking who the people were coming to the meeting, and what the purpose of the meeting was, and had they done the FBA. I got a call back telling me to call her. Unfortunately, I never got a chance to check voicemail because I was in the middle of training, and didn't get her "phone tag" until I she was gone for the day. I sent a letter to her the next day, asking the same questions, and informing her that I had asked off of work, but it had not yet been approved, and that I might not be able to make this meeting. All I got in response was the standard IEP form letter, saying that there was a meeting, and listing who was coming. Rats. It didn't give the purpose, no mention of the FBA, and I still don't know who one of the invited people were. (Perhaps a psychologist??). There was one name listed that was new, and that was the Special Ed Coordinator. Cool! To top it off, I found his email address on the school's website. Even better! My time off request had been denied at work, and now I had a contact that I might be able to reach via email. Phew! (I got the form letter on Thursday evening, but they were off of school Friday through Tuesday, and the meeting was Wednesday!) I sent off an email, telling him that I could not make the meeting, and asked him to inform the rest of the IEP team. I also asked the same questions I had been asking everybody else (FBA? Purpose of the Meeting? Who's Else is Coming?) You won't believe what I got in response.


I received a letter from the Special Ed Coordinator. He was fine about the fact that I wanted to reschedule the meeting. It was simply for the purpose of sharing information with his new school.


NEW SCHOOL???


(surprise!)


Oh, and I got a couple phone messages from the special ed teacher at my son's school. (This was before I saw the email from the Special Ed Coordinator). At first the special ed teacher refused to reschedule the meeting, seeing no reason to do so. She invited the Autism Team Representative (Since when?! She wasn't on the list! Why didn't they tell me??), and it was next to impossible to get her, and the meeting really needed to take place as planned. Then I left an angry message saying that I needed to reschedule because I couldn't get off work, and because I had no idea what the purpose of the meeting was, and I had no idea who the people invited to the meeting were, and no one told me that the Autism Team Rep was coming, and I had no idea if the FBA had been done and I needed more than a few days notice, etc. She left another message and said that the purpose of the meeting was to go over my son's behavior management plan. Ah yes, and it was no problem about rescheduling the meeting. Huh? Why the sudden change of heart?


It was right after that I got home and saw the email from the Special Ed Coordinator.


I guess they just decided to get rid of my son. Get him out of their hair. No point in consulting with his parents, now, eh?


Wow, and these are the people I'm supposed to trust.