Meltdown Already?

I got another phone call yesterday. This time, the call came from his para. She said Nathan was taking a practice test, and got upset when they collected the tests because he felt he should be further along than he was. He threw things in his classroom, and then again when they took him to the principal's office.

I'm not sure how to help him with this perfectionism thing. He has such high expectations of himself, as if he's supposed to be perfect at everything, the very first time he attempts it. He not only sets himself up for a let down, but for a lot of frustration, and meltdowns.

Today would be more practice tests. Yikes. If we can't get a handle on this soon, this will only make us crazy.

I tried to talk to him about tests, and how they just tell us the stuff we need to work on, to improve. I tried to emphasize how tests are a tool, not a judgement. He seemed to get something out of that discussion.

I also tried to tell him that I didn't care what score he got on his tests, that I just want him to do his best. He didn't believe that. So I looked at him and smiled, and said, "Do you really think anybody cares ,right now, what I scored on the math tests I took in 3rd grade?" (Geez, am I really downgrading the importance of a TEST??? My dad is probably spinning in his grave.)

Nathan did seem to get a kick out of that idea, that nobody would care, years later, what he scored on the tests he took now. Somehow, I think it helped to take some of the pressure off. I just hope it doesn't come back to bite me in the fanny a few years from now.

It's not that I don't value tests, or want him to do well on them. Quite the contrary. But I am trying to look at it from his perspective. At this point, tests are only something to fear, something that is against you, something that you can't ever "win." They label you. They judge you. I need him to look at tests as something that helps you figure out what you need to work on, or what you need help with. A tool. A positive thing. Nathan already has the intelligence, and the willingness to foster that intelligence, so now I just need for him to enjoy the learning process, and not beat himself over the head with it.

I don't know if what I said will help. But at least he didn't melt down during today's test!