Never Again!

I received a call from the school, confirming the reschedule on the meeting to next Wednesday. Then she asked me if I would mind if they included the school psychologist in the meeting, stating that they prefer to work as a team, and he is usually part of that team.

I was speechless at first. I thought I was simply confirming my attendance at the meeting - I hadn't expected this. The thought of dealing with him again makes everything within me scream in alarm. I was at work while speaking to her, and I was not comfortable with getting too in-depth about what happened before, but I didn't have a whole lot of choice. If I didn't explain, I ran the risk of having him in my son's life again, and I was not willing to do that.

After hanging up with the school, I was distressed for a long time. Had it just been me that the psychologist affected and hurt, that may have been one thing. But this is my son, and I am not going to risk my son's well being on the presumption that this guy has reconsidered his viewpoint.

He was the one that literally refused to help me. He was the one that passed judgements on my child, and never even considered the possibility that a neurological problem could be at the root of his issues. He described my son with vehement and alarming bias. When I protested, he accused me of being in denial. When I was reluctant to medicate my son, he responded in anger, even though his own tests (and my son's doctor) indicated that he didn't need medication. He shouted at me with judgements that were unprofessional, let alone unkind. I was left reeling with the realization that my son had not only been judged as bad, but as evil and dangerous. And I was judged as inept in my parenting skills, as evidenced by my being "in denial" about my son's alleged depravity. (You bet, I'm in denial!)

Ironically, that "psychologist" did me a favor. It was because of the incident with him that I reached a breaking point. Never again. I will never again ignore my own instincts about my son. I will never again allow someone's title or position to overshadow my understanding of my son. I will never again trust so blindly. I would never again allow anyone to sway my certainty that my husband and I know that child better than anyone.

I know the woman from school didn't really know all the facts about what had transpired before, even after our conversation, but she did hear enough to make her realize that there was more to this story, and that including the psychologist as a part of my son's team could be ill-advised and potentially destructive. She was very gracious. And I appreciated that they valued my input enough to ask before they included that psychologist, and they withdrew the suggestion as soon as it became apparent that I was disturbed by it.

While I am quite willing to fight with force and ferocity for my son's serenity, I am also quite pleased when it becomes unnecessary to do so.